ys that your father has gone out for the day and that your mother
is asleep, and that if we like we may go out."

"Did he only say that?" I asked, finding this translation very short.

Mattia seemed confused.

"I don't know if I understood the rest," he said.

"Tell me what you think you understood."

"It seemed to me that he said that if we found some bargains in the city
we were not to miss them. He said that we lived at the expense of
fools."

My grandfather must have guessed that Mattia was explaining what he had
said to me, for with the hand that was not paralyzed, he made a motion
as though he were slipping something into his pocket, then he winked his
eye.

"Let us go out," I said quickly.

For two or three hours we walked about, not daring to go far for fear we
might become lost. Bethnal-Green was even more horrible in the daytime
than it had been at night. Mattia and I hardly spoke a word. Now and
again he pressed my hand.

When we returned to the house my mother had not left her room. Through
the open door I could see that she was leaning her head on the table.
Thinking that she was sick I ran to her to kiss her, as I was unable to
speak to her. She lifted up her head, which swayed. She looked at me but
did not see me. I smelled the odor of gin on her hot breath. I drew
back. Her head fell again on her arms resting on the table.

"Gin," said my grandfather, grinning.

I remained motionless. I felt turned to stone. I don't know how long I
stood so. Suddenly I turned to Mattia. He was looking at me with eyes
full of tears. I signed to him and again we left the house. For a long
time we walked about, side by side, holding each other's hands, saying
nothing, going straight before us without knowing where we were going.

"Where do you want to go, Remi?" he asked at last, anxiously.

"I don't know. Somewhere so we can talk. I want to speak to you, Mattia.
We can't talk in this crowd."

We had by this time come to a much wider street at the end of which was
a public garden. We hurried to this spot and sat down on a bench.

"You know how much I love you, Mattia boy," I began, "and you know that
it was through friendship for you that I asked you to come with me to
see my people. You won't doubt my friendship, no matter what I ask of
you?"

"Don't be such a silly," he said, forcing a smile.

"You want to laugh so that I won't break down," I replied. "If I can't
cry when I'm with you, when can I cry?