addle are you talking with your vital principle? What is it? Who
has seen it?"

Pecuchet got confused.

"Besides," said the physician, "Gouy does not want food."

The patient made a gesture of assent under his cotton nightcap.

"No matter, he requires it!"

"Not a bit! his pulse is at ninety-eight!"

"What matters about his pulse?" And Pecuchet proceeded to give
authorities.

"Let systems alone!" said the doctor.

Pecuchet folded his arms. "So then, you are an empiric?"

"By no means; but by observing----"

"But if one observes badly?"

Vaucorbeil took this phrase for an allusion to Madame Bordin's skin
eruption--a story about which the widow had made a great outcry, and the
recollection of which irritated him.

"To start with, it is necessary to have practised."

"Those who revolutionised the science did not practise--Van Helmont,
Boerhaave, Broussais himself."

Without replying, Vaucorbeil stooped towards Gouy, and raising his
voice:

"Which of us two do you select as your doctor?"

[Illustration: MUTUALLY BECOMING AFFLICTED, THEY LOOKED AT THEIR
TONGUES]

The patient, who was falling asleep, perceived angry faces, and began to
blubber. His wife did not know either what answer to make, for the one
was clever, but the other had perhaps a secret.

"Very well," said Vaucorbeil, "since you hesitate between a man
furnished with a diploma----"

Pecuchet sneered.

"Why do you laugh?"

"Because a diploma is not always an argument."

The doctor saw himself attacked in his means of livelihood, in his
prerogative, in his social importance. His wrath gave itself full vent.

"We shall see that when you are brought up before the courts for
illegally practising medicine!" Then, turning round to the farmer's
wife, "Get him killed by this gentleman at your ease, and I'm hanged if
ever I come back to your house!"

And he dashed past the beech trees, shaking his walking-stick as he
went.

When Pecuchet returned, Bouvard was himself in a very excited state. He
had just had a visit from Foureau, who was exasperated about his
hemorrhoids. Vainly had he contended that they were a safeguard against
every disease. Foureau, who would listen to nothing, had threatened him
with an action for damages. He lost his head over it.

Pecuchet told him the other story, which he considered more serious, and
was a little shocked at Bouvard's indifference.

Gouy, next day, had a pain in his abdomen. This might be due to