ee her--ha! ha! Let him if he can, I
say again. Lydia, come down here!--[Calling.] He'll make me a
go-between in their interviews!--ha! ha! ha! Come down, I say, Lydia! I
don't wonder at your laughing, ha! ha! ha! his impudence is truly
ridiculous.

ABSOLUTE
'Tis very ridiculous, upon my soul, ma'am, ha! ha! ha!

Mrs. MALAPROP
The little hussy won't hear. Well, I'll go and tell her at once who it
is--she shall know that Captain Absolute is come to wait on her. And
I'll make her behave as becomes a young woman.

ABSOLUTE
As you please, ma'am.

Mrs. MALAPROP
For the present, captain, your servant. Ah! you've not done laughing
yet, I see--elude my vigilance; yes, yes; ha! ha! ha! [Exit.]

ABSOLUTE
Ha! ha! ha! one would think now that I might throw off all disguise at
once, and seize my prize with security; but such is Lydia's caprice,
that to undeceive were probably to lose her. I'll see whether she knows
me. [Walks aside, and seems engaged in looking at the pictures.]

[Enter LYDIA.]

LYDIA
What a scene am I now to go through! surely nothing can be more
dreadful than to be obliged to listen to the loathsome addresses of a
stranger to one's heart. I have heard of girls persecuted as I am, who
have appealed in behalf of their favoured lover to the generosity of
his rival--suppose I were to try it--there stands the hated rival--an
officer too!--but oh, how unlike my Beverley! I wonder he don't
begin--truly he seems a very negligent wooer!--quite at his ease, upon
my word!--I'll speak first--Mr. Absolute.

ABSOLUTE
Ma'am. [Turns round.]

LYDIA
O heavens! Beverley!

ABSOLUTE
Hush;--hush, my life! softly! be not surprised!

LYDIA
I am so astonished! and so terrified! and so overjoyed!--for Heaven's
sake! how came you here?

ABSOLUTE
Briefly, I have deceived your aunt--I was informed that my new rival
was to visit here this evening, and contriving to have him kept away,
have passed myself on her for Captain Absolute.

LYDIA
O charming! And she really takes you for young Absolute?

ABSOLUTE
Oh, she's convinced of it.

LYDIA
Ha! ha! ha! I can't forbear laughing to think how her sagacity is
overreached!

ABSOLUTE
But we trifle with our precious moments--such another opportunity may
not occur; then let me now conjure my kind, my condescending angel, to
fix the time when I may rescue her from undeserving persecution, and
with a licensed warmth plead for my reward.

LYDIA
Will you then, Beverley, c