o don't take a foolish powder kase a
preacher workin' at his trade handed ye a few. Hit done ye good, ye
never looked so purty in yer life, yer cheeks wus red es cherries an' ye
sung like a exorter."

Alfred asked: "Didn't you think he took a shot at Uncle Ned?"

"Well, ef he did he never teched him fur Ned never winced. Ye know them
church members never take nuthin' to tharselves; no, they jes believe
when the preacher ladles out spiritual feed hits fur sinners on the
outside uf the church. They think they're above suspishun. Ye know the
Pharisee thanked Gawd he wus not like other peepul, 'an he was _jes
awful_. Of course a great many say thet the sermon fit yer kase. Hit's
the best praise ye ever got, hit's better'n a piece in the newspapers.
Thur's a heap uf peepul in this town never knowed ye amounted to enuf to
be preached about. Es long es ye hain't stole nuthin' er caused anybody
misery er shame, yer on the safe side. Yer troubles hain't nuthin', ye
jes think they are. Uncle Tom's got more trouble on his min' now en ye
ever had."

"I'll bet if I ever get out of this trouble, I'll steer clear of it
hereafter," mused Alfred.

"Yes ye will. Let me tell ye, sonny, the minnet ye begin to feel yer
troubles at a end ye'll begin to look fer more en ye wouldn't be wuth
cracklins ef ye didn't. I wouldn't gin four cents fer a man thet didn't
git into truble; hit trys 'em out an' ye ken tell what they're made uf.
Look at all the men ye know who don't know enuf to make truble. What do
they amount to? Why they ain't got enuf grit in 'em to suck alum."

She continued:

"Onct thur wus a new preacher kum to a place to take charge of a church.
A member uf the church called tu pay his respeks an' afore he left he
said, confidential like: 'Parson, ye preach yer first sermon Sunday. Now
I want to tell ye this fer yer own good: We hev a good many members thet
plays ole sledge, ten cents a corner. Thar our best payin' members an' I
wouldn't, ef I wus ye, say anythin' 'bout card playin' in my fust
sermon, they mought think ye wus pussenal.' Another member called. After
talkin' 'bout the weather an' crops a bit, he sed: 'Several uf our best
payin' members sell whiskey wholesale, they're agin dram drinkin' but ef
ye preach agin whiskey right away it mought make 'em mad, so I wouldn't
say anythin' agin whiskey in yer fust sermun nex' Sunday.' The preacher
began to git a little shaky but he thanked the man. A little later
anuther mem