letter from Esterton he casually mentioned the matter, I did not
know that Berry was in prison, else this letter would have been
written sooner. I have been wanting to write it for so long, and
yet have been too great a coward to do so.

"I know that you will be disappointed in me, and just what that
disappointment will cost you I know; but you must hear the truth. I
shall never see your face again, or I should not dare to tell it
even now. You will remember that I begged you to be easy on your
servant. You thought it was only my kindness of heart. It was not;
I had a deeper reason. I knew where the money had gone and dared
not tell. Berry is as innocent as yourself--and I--well, it is a
story, and let me tell it to you.

"You have had so much confidence in me, and I hate to tell you that
it was all misplaced. I have no doubt that I should not be doing it
now but that I have drunken absinthe enough to give me the
emotional point of view, which I shall regret to-morrow. I do not
mean that I am drunk. I can think clearly and write clearly, but my
emotions are extremely active.

"Do you remember Claire's saying at the table that night of the
farewell dinner that some dark-eyed mademoiselle was waiting for
me? She did not know how truly she spoke, though I fancy she saw
how I flushed when she said it: for I was already in love--madly
so.

"I need not describe her. I need say nothing about her, for I know
that nothing I say can ever persuade you to forgive her for taking
me from you. This has gone on since I first came here, and I dared
not tell you, for I saw whither your eyes had turned. I loved this
girl, and she both inspired and hindered my work. Perhaps I would
have been successful had I not met her, perhaps not.

"I love her too well to marry her and make of our devotion a stale,
prosy thing of duty and compulsion. When a man does not marry a
woman, he must keep her better than he would a wife. It costs. All
that you gave me went to make her happy.

"Then, when I was about leaving you, the catastrophe came. I wanted
much to carry back to her. I gambled to make more. I would surprise
her. Luck was against me. Night after night I lost. Then, just
before the dinner, I woke from my frenzy to find all that I had was
gone. I would have