e two
instruments he could wind the most inspiring call.

"Live and let live," said I. With a grin Bertram suspended his
operations. "Listen. I've been offered a Sealyham."

"Take him," was the reply. "Your guests will regret it, but you won't.
They're high-spirited and they're always full of beans. Hard as nails,
too," he added. "You'll never kill him. Tell me." He brandished the horn
which he held in his right hand. "Don't you think this sounds the best?"
With an effort he produced a most distressing sound. "Or this?" Putting
the other to his lips, he emitted a precisely similar note.

"There's no difference at all," said I, crossing to a bureau. "They're
equally painful. They do it rather better at level-crossings on the
Continent."

"It is patent," said Bertram, "that you have no ear for music."

"All right," said I, making ready to write. "You try it. The hounds'll
all sit up and beg or something. I suppose it's too much to expect to
find a pen that'll write here," I added, regarding uneasily the enormous
quill with which the bureau was decorated.

"That's a jolly good pen," said Bertram indignantly. "Every one says
so."

I grunted my disbelief.

"Which end shall I use?"

"I recommend the right one," rejoined my host with ponderous sarcasm.
"But, as I have yet to meet any one who can read your writing, I don't
suppose it matters."

"I have often deplored the company you keep," said I, and with that I
selected a large sheet of paper and wrote as follows--

_DEAR MISS CHILDE,_

_I'd like to have Nobby very much. I'm awfully sorry for you, but I'll
be very kind to him for both your sakes. The reference you give him is
most satisfactory. I suppose he'll want one evening a week and every
other Sunday. And will he do in the front steps and spoil the knives? Or
only ruin the boots? I beg your pardon. For the moment I was thinking of
the cook who nearly engaged us. Only she wanted a pension after six
months' service. It was very nice of you to think of me. I'll write you
a proper letter when I send you a receipt. I return to Town to-morrow._

_Yours very sincerely,_

....

_P.S.--He shall always sleep on mine._

As I was addressing the envelope, the butler entered the hall. I gave
him the letter, and he promised to see that it was dispatched that day.
A knowledge of Bertram's household suggested this precaution.

* * * * *

As I had told Miss Childe, on the following d