I had the mumps Crismus vacashun.
After duckin half the shells the Croup people ever turned out I had to
get hit with a cold in the head. I bet I get the chicken pox on my
honeymoon.

An now here I am holdin down an irun cot that creeks when you turn
over, missin all the fun an not even goin to get a wound stripe. The
worst of it they tell me I got as much chance of gettin back to my
battery as I havin of catchin the Croun Prince. They say like as not
Ill land in some Steva Dora regiment in the SOS or in the M.P.s. They
dont seem to have nothin to do in this army but take you from where
you want to be an put you where you dont.

But I aint goin to complain, Mable. I told em that after Id been here
four days. All I say is if they dont let me out of this hole toot
sweet Im goin to get up an beat it an die on the road. Then perhaps
theyll wish they had.

Theres not a blessed thing to do but wait for mess an lissen to the
fello lie in the next bed. He can make Annie Nias look like Martha
Washington before hes been talkin five minites. He says that when he
got hit the shells was fallin around him so fast that the only way he
saved his life was by deflectin them off with a bayonet. Two of them
came at him at once an he got mixed up. I ast him why he didnt catch
one on the back of his neck like the fello does the cannon balls in
the vawdeville show. The nurse told me yesterday he got his foot run
over by a truck. Everybody spends there time tellin how they used to
shake dice with death every mornin before breakfast. It works out all
right cause nobody believes anybody else an it gives them good
practice for when they go home.

Its a funny thing about the fello in the next bed. I came in two days
after he did. Four days after he got here he came down with newmonya.
I got it two days later. He died last night. But of course that dont
necesarily mean nothin. Cheerful an bright to the last gasp. Thats me
all over, Mable. Of course I dont want you to worry cause that would
make me worry an theres no tellin what that would bring on.

Well, Mable, I got a big surprise for you. I guess itll take a load
offen your mind. You know all that stuff we been readin in the war
stories about hospittles an the like. It all goes the same. "The next
thing the fello knew he was lyin between snowy white sheets an a
butiful vizun was bendin over him. She had vilet eyes an was full of
tears like shed been cryin or something. An she smooths out