xcitable little boys always do--flung
in his bat and sprawled on the ground. The bat struck the
wicket-keeper, who had just knocked off the bails. It hit him, so he
said, on his bad place.

"Out," ruled I.

"Over," proclaimed Penny victoriously, as who should say: "There!
I've got a man out for you"; and he retired honourably to the leg
position, where he composed himself for a happy day-dream.

The new bowler at my end began by bowling swift. The wicket-keeper
jumped out of the way, as his mother would have wished him to do,
and Long-stop shut his eyes and hoped for the best. The batsman
blindly waved his bat, and, inasmuch as the ball hit it, and
rebounded some distance, called to his partner, who was mending the
binding on his bat-handle.

"Will you come? Osborne, you fool! Yes. _Yes_. YES! No, no.
YE-E-ES! No--go back, you fool. All right, come. No-no-no. O,
Osborne, why didn't you run that? It was an easy one."

"Silly ass, Osborne," roared Cover-point, quite gratuitously, for no
one had addressed him for the last twenty minutes.

The batsman ran wildly out to the next ball and missed it. The
wicket-keeper successfully stumped him. It was a clear case of
"out," and a shout went up: "How's that?"

"That," said Penny, who had been in a dream and seen nothing, "is
Not Out."

I was disheartened to learn on this occasion that little boys could
be so rude to those who were sacrificing their spare time to teach
them cricket.

"Really," sighed Penny, adjusting his tie, "unless you treat me with
due respect, I will not come and coach you again."

This was greeted with an unmannerly cheer.

"Resume your play," commanded Pennybet. "It was Not Out."

"Why?" loudly demanded the bowler.

Penny seized the only escape from his sensational error.

"Because, you horrid little tuberculous maggot, it was a no-ball.
Besides, you smell."

The little boy looked defiantly at him, and, pointing to me, said:

"Bowler's umpire didn't give 'no-ball.'"

"Then," said Penny promptly, "he ought to have done."

I was so shocked at this unscrupulous method of sacrificing me to
save his reputation that I shouted indignantly: "You're a liar!"

Later a warm discussion arose between the batsman and the bowler as
to whether the former could be out, if "centre" had not been given
to him properly. I took no part in it, but looked significantly at
Pennybet. He gazed reproachfully at me, as much as to say: "How
could you suggest su