hot as Calcutta; and the grandson of Sexton
Pepper, a great author, who wrote verses on tombstones, and kept a stall
of religious tracts in Carlisle. My grandfather, the sexton, was the
best temper of the family; for all of us are a little inclined to be hot
in the mouth. Well, my fine fellow, my father left me his blessing,
and this devilish good head of hair. I lived for some years on my own
resources. I found it a particularly inconvenient mode of life, and of
late I have taken to live on the public. My father and grandfather did
it before me, though in a different line. 'T is the pleasantest plan
in the world. Follow my example, and your coat shall be as spruce as my
own. Master Paul, your health!"

"But, O longest of mortals!" said Paul, refilling his glass, "though
the public may allow you to eat your mutton off their backs for a short
time, they will kick up at last, and upset you and your banquet; in
other words (pardon my metaphor, dear Ned, in remembrance of the part
I have lately maintained in 'The Asinaeum,' that most magnificent and
metaphorical of journals!),--in other words, the police will nab thee
at last; and thou wilt have the distinguished fate, as thou already hast
the distinguishing characteristic, of Absalom!"

"You mean that I shall be hanged," said Long Ned, "that may or may
not be; but he who fears death never enjoys life. Consider, Paul, that
though hanging is a bad fate, starving is a worse; wherefore fill your
glass, and let us drink to the health of that great donkey, the people,
and may we never want saddles to ride it!"

"To the great donkey," cried Paul, tossing off his bumper; "may your
(y)ears be as long! But I own to you, my friend, that I cannot enter
into your plans. And, as a token of my resolution, I shall drink no
more, for my eyes already begin to dance in the air; and if I listen
longer to your resistless eloquence, my feet may share the same fate!"

So saying, Paul rose; nor could any entreaty, on the part of his
entertainer, persuade him to resume his seat.

"Nay, as you will," said Pepper, affecting a nonchalant tone, and
arranging his cravat before the glass,--"nay, as you will. Ned Pepper
requires no man's companionship against his liking; and if the noble
spark of ambition be not in your bosom, 't is no use spending my breath
in blowing at what only existed in my too flattering opinion of your
qualities. So then, you propose to return to MacGrawler (the scurvy old
ch