ionship between Love and Pain to be Found in
Animal Courtship--Courtship a Source of Combativity and of Cruelty--Human
Play in the Light of Animal Courtship--The Frequency of Crimes Against the
Person in Adolescence--Marriage by Capture and its Psychological
Basis--Man's Pleasure in Exerting Force and Woman's Pleasure in
Experiencing it--Resemblance of Love to Pain even in Outward
Expression--The Love-bite--In what Sense Pain may be Pleasurable--The
Natural Contradiction in the Emotional Attitude of Women Toward
Men--Relative Insensibility to Pain of the Organic Sexual Sphere in
Women--The Significance of the Use of the Ampallang and Similar Appliances
in Coitus--The Sexual Subjection of Women to Men in Part Explainable as
the Necessary Condition for Sexual Pleasure.

The relation of love to pain is one of the most difficult problems, and
yet one of the most fundamental, in the whole range of sexual psychology.
Why is it that love inflicts, and even seeks to inflict, pain? Why is it
that love suffers pain, and even seeks to suffer it? In answering that
question, it seems to me, we have to take an apparently circuitous route,
sometimes going beyond the ostensible limits of sex altogether; but if we
can succeed in answering it we shall have come very near one of the great
mysteries of love. At the same time we shall have made clear the normal
basis on which rest the extreme aberrations of love.

The chief key to the relationship of love to pain is to be found by
returning to the consideration of the essential phenomena of courtship in
the animal world generally. Courtship is a play, a game; even its combats
are often, to a large extent, mock-combats; but the process behind it is
one of terrible earnestness, and the play may at any moment become deadly.
Courtship tends to involve a mock-combat between males for the possession
of the female which may at any time become a real combat; it is a pursuit
of the female by the male which may at any time become a kind of
persecution; so that, as Colin Scott remarks, "Courting may be looked upon
as a refined and delicate form of combat." The note of courtship, more
especially among mammals, is very easily forced, and as soon as we force
it we reach pain.[61] The intimate and inevitable association in the
animal world of combat--of the fighting and hunting impulses--with the
process of courtship alone suffices to bring love into close connection
with pain.

Among mammals the male