connected with the U. S.
Internal Revenue Department. I said I had never heard of his branch of
business before, but I was very glad to see him all the same. Would he
sit down? He sat down. I did not know anything particular to say, and
yet I felt that people who have arrived at the dignity of keeping house
must be conversational, must be easy and sociable in company. So, in
default of anything else to say, I asked him if he was opening his shop
in our neighborhood.

He said he was. [I did not wish to appear ignorant, but I had hoped he
would mention what he had for sale.]

I ventured to ask him "How was trade?" And he said "So-so."

I then said we would drop in, and if we liked his house as well as any
other, we would give him our custom.

He said he thought we would like his establishment well enough to confine
ourselves to it--said he never saw anybody who would go off and hunt up
another man in his line after trading with him once.

That sounded pretty complacent, but barring that natural expression of
villainy which we all have, the man looked honest enough.

I do not know how it came about exactly, but gradually we appeared to
melt down and run together, conversationally speaking, and then
everything went along as comfortably as clockwork.

We talked, and talked, and talked--at least I did; and we laughed, and
laughed, and laughed--at least he did. But all the time I had my
presence of mind about me--I had my native shrewdness turned on "full
head," as the engineers say. I was determined to find out all about his
business in spite of his obscure answers--and I was determined I would
have it out of him without his suspecting what I was at. I meant to trap
him with a deep, deep ruse. I would tell him all about my own business,
and he would naturally so warm to me during this seductive burst of
confidence that he would forget himself, and tell me all about his
affairs before he suspected what I was about. I thought to myself, My
son, you little know what an old fox you are dealing with. I said:

"Now you never would guess what I made lecturing this winter and last
spring?"

"No--don't believe I could, to save me. Let me see--let me see. About
two thousand dollars, maybe? But no; no, sir, I know you couldn't have
made that much. Say seventeen hundred, maybe?"

"Ha! ha! I knew you couldn't. My lecturing receipts for last spring and
this winter were fourteen thousand seven hundred and fif