e he might not hear her voice. I determined they should come
about as they pleased for me; and though it was a tiresomely slow
process, I began to rejoice at length in a faint dawn of its progress: as
I thought at first.
Mrs. Linton, on the third day, unbarred her door, and having finished the
water in her pitcher and decanter, desired a renewed supply, and a basin
of gruel, for she believed she was dying. That I set down as a speech
meant for Edgar's ears; I believed no such thing, so I kept it to myself
and brought her some tea and dry toast. She ate and drank eagerly, and
sank back on her pillow again, clenching her hands and groaning. 'Oh, I
will die,' she exclaimed, 'since no one cares anything about me. I wish
I had not taken that.' Then a good while after I heard her murmur, 'No,
I'll not die--he'd be glad--he does not love me at all--he would never
miss me!'
'Did you want anything, ma'am?' I inquired, still preserving my external
composure, in spite of her ghastly countenance and strange, exaggerated
manner.
'What is that apathetic being doing?' she demanded, pushing the thick
entangled locks from her wasted face. 'Has he fallen into a lethargy, or
is he dead?'
'Neither,' replied I; 'if you mean Mr. Linton. He's tolerably well, I
think, though his studies occupy him rather more than they ought: he is
continually among his books, since he has no other society.'
I should not have spoken so if I had known her true condition, but I
could not get rid of the notion that she acted a part of her disorder.
'Among his books!' she cried, confounded. 'And I dying! I on the brink
of the grave! My God! does he know how I'm altered?' continued she,
staring at her reflection in a mirror hanging against the opposite wall.
'Is that Catherine Linton? He imagines me in a pet--in play, perhaps.
Cannot you inform him that it is frightful earnest? Nelly, if it be not
too late, as soon as I learn how he feels, I'll choose between these two:
either to starve at once--that would be no punishment unless he had a
heart--or to recover, and leave the country. Are you speaking the truth
about him now? Take care. Is he actually so utterly indifferent for my
life?'
'Why, ma'am,' I answered, 'the master has no idea of your being deranged;
and of course he does not fear that you will let yourself die of hunger.'
'You think not? Cannot you tell him I will?' she returned. 'Persuade
him! speak of your own mind: say
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