have an unfortunate disposition, but because
Algernon has been doing precisely the same thing for two months.

"Listen to him!" you howl. "Didn't tell him! Why you gangle-legged
bug-eyed soft-handed pop-eared tenderfoot, you! there are some things
you never THINK of telling a man. I never told you to open your mouth
to spit, either. If you had a hired man at five dollars a year who was
so all-around hopelessly thick-headed and incompetent as you are, you'd
fire him to-morrow morning."

Then Algernon looks truly sorry, and doesn't answer back as he ought to
in order to give occasion for the relief of a really soul-satisfying
scrap, and utters the soft answer humbly. So your wrath is turned and
there remain only the dregs which taste like some of Algernon's cooking.

It is rather good fun to relieve the bitterness of the heart. Let me
tell you a few more tales of the tenderfoot, premising always that I
love him, and when at home seek him out to smoke pipes at his fireside,
to yarn over the trail, to wonder how much rancor he cherishes against
the maniacs who declaimed against him, and by way of compensation to
build up in the mind of his sweetheart, his wife, or his mother a
fearful and wonderful reputation for him as the Terror of the Trail.
These tales are selected from many, mere samples of a varied
experience. They occurred here, there, and everywhere, and at various
times. Let no one try to lay them at the door of our Tenderfoot merely
because such is his title in this narrative. We called him that by way
of distinction.

Once upon a time some of us were engaged in climbing a mountain rising
some five thousand feet above our starting-place. As we toiled along,
one of the pack-horses became impatient and pushed ahead. We did not
mind that, especially, as long as she stayed in sight, but in a little
while the trail was closed in by brush and timber.

"Algernon," said we, "just push on and get ahead of that mare, will
you?"

Algernon disappeared. We continued to climb. The trail was steep and
rather bad. The labor was strenuous, and we checked off each thousand
feet with thankfulness. As we saw nothing further of Algernon, we
naturally concluded he had headed the mare and was continuing on the
trail. Then through a little opening we saw him riding cheerfully
along without a care to occupy his mind. Just for luck we hailed him.

"Hi there, Algernon! Did you find her?"

"Haven't seen her yet."