) which had occurred in
their life together should be left undiscussed between them; it had
happened, let it therefore remain "happened;" they couldn't improve it
by chattering about it (an illusion of weak minds), but they could take
up the threads again where they had left them, and go on without any
"bother."

Later, he added a few words more; they were not taking up the threads,
after all, just where they had left them, but in a much better place;
for now they were relieved from any necessity for being sentimental. He
admired her greatly, he didn't mind telling her that she had grown
infinitely more interesting, as well as handsomer; but his having
remained away from her as long as he had, and of his own accord,
debarred him, of course, from expecting personal affection from her, at
least at present; he certainly didn't expect it, she might rest secure
about that; on the other hand, he didn't believe, either--no, not in the
least--that she had broken her heart very deeply about _him_. There was
no better foundation than this state of affairs for the most comfortable
sort of years together, if she would look at it in the right way. What
was the cause of most of the trouble between husbands and wives
nowadays?--by "nowadays" he meant in modern times, since women had been
allowed to complain. Their being so foolish, wasn't it? on one side or
the other, as to wish to absorb each other, control each other, in a
petty, dogmatic, jealous sort of way. Now in their case there would not
be any clashing of that sort; when people had lived apart as they had,
voluntarily and contentedly, for eight years, they must at least have
got out of the habit of asking prying questions, of expecting a report
of everything that happened, of trying to dictate and govern; as to
jealousy, it would be rather late in the day to begin that.

These were the only approaches Lanse had made towards a discussion of
intimate topics. The reserve was not so remarkable in him as it might
have been in another man, for Lanse seldom talked on intimate topics
with anybody; his principle, so far as it could be gathered from his
life, appeared to have been to allow himself, in actual fact (quiet
fact), the most radical liberty of action, while at the same time in
speech, in tastes, in general manner, he remained firmly, even
aggressively, a conservative; Lanse's "manner" had been much admired.
Always, so he would have said, he behaved "as a gentleman should,"