r.

But seriously, if it is necessary to believe such stories as that in
order to go to heaven, don't you think the admission fee is a trifle
high? It is entirely beyond my means, and that is not one of the big
stories either.

The one that comes right after it is just as absurd. It is the second
scene of the same performance, and Samson only went out between acts for
a drink, and then he playfully walked off with a building about the size
of the capitol at Washington.

They say we must believe these tales or be damned; and that a woman has
not even a right to say, "I object." But it always did seem to me that
anybody who could believe them would not have brains enough to know
whether he was damned or not. They say we must not laugh at such very
solemn things as that. They also say that even if we don't believe them
ourselves we should show respect for those who do.

That is a very good theory, but I should like to know how any human
being with a sense of humor could sit and look solemn, and feel very
respectful, with that sort of chaff rattling down his back. It can't
be done unless he is scared. Fear will convince a man the quickest of
anything on earth. Even a shadow is provocative of solemnity if the
night is dark enough and the man is sufficiently scared.

Ignorance and Fear made the Garden of Eden, they created Jehovah, gave
Samson his wonderful strength, and Solomon his wisdom; they divided the
Red Sea, and raised Lazarus from the dead. It is not strange, therefore,
that they have compelled women to cling to the Church, and slaves to
cling to slavery. There were many black men in the South who voluntarily
went back and offered to remain in bondage. And that is one of the
strongest arguments against the institution of slavery--that it can so
far degrade its victims that they lose even the ambition to be free!*

* "It was quite an ordinary fact in Greece and Rome for
slaves to submit to death by torture rather than betray
their masters. Yet we know how cruelly many Romans treated
their slaves. But in truth these intense individual feelings
nowhere rise to such a luxuriant height as under the most
atrocious institutions. It is part of the irony of life,
that the strongest feelings of devoted gratitude of which
human nature seems susceptible, are called forth in human
beings toward those who, having the power entirely to crush
their earthly existence, voluntari