fibbing about trifles are
a despicable crew, and should be held by the heels, and soused head
down-most in a firkin of small beer.

Men who are, or who fancy themselves to be good singers, are great
bores. The airs which they assume in company are most insufferable. If
asked for a song, they affect, with an aspect of the most hypocritical
humility, that really they cannot sing--that their voice is out of
order--that they are hoarse, and so forth; the fellows all the while
being most anxious to show forth, only wanting to be pressed, in order
to enhance their own importance, and stimulate the curiosity of the
company. Nor is this the worst of the case; for no sooner do they
perpetrate one song, than they volunteer a dozen, interlarding the
intervals between their performances with pedantic disquisitions on
music, and flooring every man who ventures to hazard an opinion on
the subject. These people, whether amateur or professional, must be
extinguished; and the best way to accomplish their overthrow, and
reduce them to their native insignificance, is, in the first instance,
to take them at their word, and not urge them to sing. By so doing, they
immediately take the pet, and sport mum for the rest of the evening.
The same remarks apply to musical people in general, whether in the
shape of fiddlers, fluters, horn blowers, thumpers on the pianoforte,
&c. These individuals can think of nothing else but their favourite
pursuit, and imagine all the world to be equally interested in it. Take
a musician off music, and he is the most ignorant of animals. A good
story in illustration of this is told about Madame Catalani. Being at a
large party in Vienna, where Goethe was present, she was much surprised
at the great respect with which that illustrious man was treated.
On inquiring his name, she was informed it was the celebrated Goethe.
"Celebrated!" said the siren; "what music did he ever compose? Why,
I never heard of him!"

An absurd prejudice prevails among many people against the skate. If
this fish is hung up and dried for a day or two, then cut in slices,
done on the gridiron, and eaten with butter, it is most delicious.

N.B. The female skate is more delicate than the male.

Persons who indulge in conundrums, charades &c. are invariably poor
creatures; as are those who have a knack at finding out such trifles.
The same remark applies to punsters. It is difficult for a man of
sterling talent to perpetrate a pun, or to