lose time; I
don't want to buy it, I repeat to you."

"Gad bliss you, sir--Gad bliss you. Maybe if I'd make up to the
mishthress, yer haner! Thrath she wouldn't turn the crathur from the
place, in regard that the tindherness ow the feelin' would come ower
her--the rale gintlewoman, any way! 'Tis dag chape you have her at what
I said, sir; an' Gad bliss you!"

"Do you want to compel me to purchase it whether I will or no?"

"Thrath, it's whor next to nothin' I'm giv-in' her to you, sir; but
sure you can make your own price at any thing beyant a pound. _Huerish
amuck--sladh anish!_--be asy, you crathur, sure you're gettin' into good
quarthers, any how--go into the hanerable English gintleman's kitchen,
an' God knows it's a pleasure to dale wit 'em. Och, the world's differ
there is betuxt them, an' our own dirty Irish buckeens, that 'ud shkin
a bad skilleen, an' pay their debts wit the remaindher. The gateman 'ud
let me in, yer haner, an' I'll meet you at the big house, abow."

"Upon my honor this is a good jest," said the gentleman, absolutely
teased into a compliance; "you are forcing me to buy that which I don't
want."

"Sure you will, sir; you'll want more nor that yit, please Gad, if you
be spared. Come, amuck--come, you crathur; faix you're in luck so you
are--gettin' so good a place wit his haner, here, that you won't know
yourself shortly, plase God."

He immediately commenced driving his pig towards the gentleman's
residence with such an air of utter simplicity, as would have imposed
upon any man not guided by direct inspiration. Whilst he approached the
house, its proprietor arrived there by another path a few minutes before
him, and, addressing his lady, said:

"My dear, will you come and look at a purchase which an Irishman has
absolutely compelled me to make? You had better come and see himself,
too, for he is the greatest simpleton of an Irishman I have ever met
with."

The lady's curiosity was more easily excited than that of her husband.
She not only came out, but brought with her some ladies who had been on
a visit, in order to hear the Irishman's brogue, and to amuse themselves
at his expense. Of the pig, too, it appeared she was determined to know
something.

"George, my love, is the pig also from Ireland?"

"I don't know, my dear; but I should think so from its fleshless
appearance. I have never seen so spare an animal of that class in this
country."

"Juliana," said one of the ladies to