o take it lying down--
And yet, by Allah, how I loathe this train!

O. S.

* * * * *

"A subaltern friend of mine landed at Gibraltar for a few hours, and he
was anxious to be able to say that he had been to Spain. So he walked
along the Isthmus to Ceuta, where the British and Spanish sentries
faced one another, and directly the Spanish soldier turned his head he
hopped quickly over into Spain. Then the sentry turned round, and he
hopped back again even more quickly."--_Daily Sketch_.

Those of our readers who have walked from the Gibraltar frontier to Morocco
and back, like the above subaltern, know that it takes some doing.

* * * * *

"JAMES PHILLIPS, 16, was charged with doing damage to the extent of L4
10s. at a refreshment shop in Hackney belonging to Peter Persico. As he
was kept waiting a little time he broke a plate on the table; then he
put a saucer under his heel and broke it. When remonstrated with he
broke 10 cups and saucers by throwing them at partitions and enamelled
decorations, and overturned a marble table, the top of which he
smashed."--_The Times_.

No doubt he was incited to these naughty deeds by the line, very popular in
Hackney circles, "Persico's odi, puer, apparatus."

* * * * *

HEART-TO-HEART TALKS.

(_The Emperor of AUSTRIA and Count TISZA_.)

_Tisza_. So there is the full account, your Majesty, of men killed, wounded
and captured.

_The Emperor_. It is a gloomy list and I hardly can bear to consider it.

_Tisza_. Yes, and beyond the mere list of casualties by fighting there are
other matters to be considered. Food is scarce and of a poor quality, in
Hungary as elsewhere. The armies we can yet feed, but the home-staying men
and the women and children are a growing difficulty. It becomes more and
more impossible to provide them with sufficient nourishment.

_The Emperor_. It is strange, but in Austria the conditions are said to be
even worse.

_Tisza_. You are right, Sire, they are worse, much worse.

_The Emperor_. Well, we must lose no time then. We must buy great stocks of
food. More money must be spent.

_Tisza_. More money? But where is it to come from? Not from Hungary, where
we are within a narrow margin of financial collapse, and not in Austria,
where there is already to all intents and purposes a state of bankruptcy.