doesn't belong to a
single respectable Club._ Trusting that you will burn this
letter, to prevent its sale after we are gone,

I remain, yours affectionately,

BOBBY.

_N.B.--The foregoing letter is the property of the Author, and, as
it is only intended for private circulation, must not be printed.
Solicitors address,--Ely Place_.

But perhaps the best plan will be, not to write at all. The telegraph,
at the end of the century, costs but a halfpenny a word, and we seem
to be within measurable distance of the universal adoption of the
telephone. Under these circumstances, it is easy to take heed of the
warning contained in that classical puzzle of our childhood, _Litera
scripta manet_.

* * * * *

A QUESTION OF TASTE.

_Mr. Punch_. Well, Madam, what can I do for you?

_Female_ (_of Uncertain Age, gushingly_). A very great favour, my dear
Sir; it is a matter of sanitation.

_Mr. P._ (_coldly_). I am at your service, Madam, but I would remind
you that I have no time to listen to frivolous complaints.

_Fem._ I would ask you--do you think that a building open to the
public should be crowded with double as many persons as it can
conveniently hold?

_Mr. P._ Depends upon circumstances, Madam. It might possibly
be excusable in a Church, assuming that the means of egress were
sufficient. Of what building do you wish to complain?

_Fem._ Of the Old Bailey--you know, the Central Criminal Court.

_Mr. P._ Have you to object to the accommodation afforded you in the
Dock?

_Fem._ _I_ was not in the Dock!

_Mr. P._ (_dryly_). That is the only place (when not in the
Witness-Box) suitable for women at the Old Bailey. I cannot imagine
that they would go to that unhappy spot of their own free will.

_Fem._ (_astonished_). Not to see a Murder trial? Then you are
evidently unaccustomed to ladies' society.

_Mr. P._ (_severely_). I do not meet _ladies_ at the Old Bailey.

_Fem._ (_bridling up_). Indeed! But that is nothing to do with the
matter of the overcrowding. Fancy, with our boasted civilisation--I
was _half_ stifled!

_Mr. P._ It is a pity, with our boasted civilisation, that you were
not stifled--_quite!_ (_Severely._) You can go!

[_The Female retires, with an expression worthy of her proper
place--the Chamber of Horrors!_

* * * * *

[Illustration: IN DIFFICULTIES!

Distressed Hibernia. "If your tandem leader turn