taurs, Sirens, and Fauns, whom the Greeks, those collectors of
fables, loved. You will derive no satisfaction from them. Those species
of monsters have pagan inclinations and their double nature does not
dispose them to purity of morals."

The bland Lactantius replied in these terms:

"He who has just spoken is assuredly the best historian in Paradise, for
Herodotus, Thucydides, Polybius, Livy, Velleius Paterculus, Cornelius
Nepos, Suetonius, Manetho, Diodorus Siculus, Dion Cassius, and
Lampridius are deprived of the sight of God, and Tacitus suffers in hell
the torments that are reserved for blasphemers. But Paul Orosius does
not know heaven as well as he knows the earth, for he does not seem to
bear in mind that the angels, who proceed from man and bird, are purity
itself."

"We are wandering," said the Eternal. "What have we to do with all those
centaurs, harpies, and angels? We have to deal with penguins."

"You have spoken to the point, Lord," said the chief of the fifty
doctors, who, during their mortal life had been confounded by the Virgin
of Alexandria, "and I dare express the opinion that, in order to put an
end to the scandal by which heaven is now stirred, old Mael's penguins
should, as St. Catherine who confounded us has proposed, be given half
of a human body with an eternal soul proportioned to that half."

At this speech there arose in the assembly a great noise of private
conversations and disputes of the doctors. The Greek fathers argued with
the Latins concerning the substance, nature, and dimensions of the soul
that should be given to the penguins.

"Confessors and pontiffs," exclaimed the Lord, "do not imitate the
conclaves and synods of the earth. And do not bring into the Church
Triumphant those violences that trouble the Church Militant. For it is
but too true that in all the councils held under the inspiration of my
spirit, in Europe, in Asia, and in Africa, fathers have torn the
beards and scratched the eyes of other fathers. Nevertheless they were
infallible, for I was with them."

Order being restored, old Hermas arose and slowly uttered these words:

"I will praise you, Lord, for that you caused my mother, Saphira, to be
born amidst your people, in the days when the dew of heaven refreshed
the earth which was in travail with its Saviour. And will praise you,
Lord, for having granted to me to see with my mortal eyes the Apostles
of your divine Son. And I will speak in this illustrious