s evening Anna Sergyevna had not been herself; and
Katya herself had felt ill at ease, as though she were conscious of
some fault in herself. As she yielded to Arkady's entreaties, she said
to herself that it was for the last time.

'Katerina Sergyevna,' he began with a sort of bashful easiness, 'since
I've had the happiness of living in the same house with you, I have
discussed a great many things with you; but meanwhile there is one,
very important ... for me ... one question, which I have not touched
upon up till now. You remarked yesterday that I have been changed
here,' he went on, at once catching and avoiding the questioning glance
Katya was turning upon him. 'I have changed certainly a great deal, and
you know that better than any one else--you to whom I really owe this
change.'

'I?... Me?...' said Katya.

'I am not now the conceited boy I was when I came here,' Arkady went
on. 'I've not reached twenty-three for nothing; as before, I want to be
useful, I want to devote all my powers to the truth; but I no longer
look for my ideals where I did; they present themselves to me ... much
closer to hand. Up till now I did not understand myself; I set myself
tasks which were beyond my powers.... My eyes have been opened lately,
thanks to one feeling.... I'm not expressing myself quite clearly, but
I hope you understand me.'

Katya made no reply, but she ceased looking at Arkady.

'I suppose,' he began again, this time in a more agitated voice, while
above his head a chaffinch sang its song unheeding among the leaves of
the birch--'I suppose it's the duty of every one to be open with those
... with those people who ... in fact, with those who are near to him,
and so I ... I resolved ...'

But here Arkady's eloquence deserted him; he lost the thread,
stammered, and was forced to be silent for a moment. Katya still did
not raise her eyes. She seemed not to understand what he was leading up
to in all this, and to be waiting for something.

'I foresee I shall surprise you,' began Arkady, pulling himself
together again with an effort, 'especially since this feeling relates
in a way ... in a way, notice ... to you. You reproached me, if you
remember, yesterday with a want of seriousness,' Arkady went on, with
the air of a man who has got into a bog, feels that he is sinking
further and further in at every step, and yet hurries onwards in the
hope of crossing it as soon as possible; 'that reproach is often aimed
... o