the raptures of inditing
Occ. verse for the _Bestspinster Gazette_.

* * * * *

For our "Glimpses of the Obvious":

"An interesting feature in the prone trees was that they all
fell in one direction, showing the direction from which the
blast came."
_Morning Paper._

* * * * *

"So soft and loose was the earth that the trench walls had to
be rivetted."
_Daily Sketch._

A very curious treatment. Personally we always use a safety-pin.

* * * * *

"Inquiries are being received at Lloyds for insurance to pay
total loss in case of peace being declared during the present
war."
_Montreal Gazette._

We ourselves should take our chance of this contingency.

* * * * *

"The total import value of matches is less than L1,000,000
per annum, and if L2,000,000 is to be collected, it will make
matches 6d. or even more per dozen."--_Daily Chronicle._

Mr. MCKENNA surely cannot have realized this.

* * * * *

MR. PUNCH'S POTTED FILMS. THE SENTIMENTAL DRAMA.

[Illustration: REGINALD CARSTAIRS, READING DURING THE VACATION AT
A REMOTE COUNTRY VILLAGE, FALLS IN LOVE WITH THE LANDLADY'S FAIR
DAUGHTER, ROSIE. IN THE OLD ORCHARD SHE WOULD SING TO HIM "PANSY
FACES."]

[Illustration: REGINALD'S HAUGHTY FATHER WILL NOT HEAR OF HIS UNION
WITH THE RUSTIC GIRL, AND MARRIES HIM TO A WEALTHY HEIRESS. HE
CONTINUALLY ANNOYS HER BY PICKING OUT ON THE PIANO THE MUSIC OF
AN OLD SONG. AND SO THEY REACH A LOVELESS MIDDLE-AGE.]

[Illustration: IN THE MEANTIME ROSIE HAS HAD HER VOICE CULTIVATED,
AND, UNDER THE NAME OF "LA BELLE ROSSIGNOLETTE," HAS TAKEN THE
CONTINENT BY STORM. IN THE MIDST OF HER GREATEST TRIUMPHS, HOWEVER,
SHE IS OFTEN _DISTRAITE_.]

[Illustration: COMING AT LENGTH TO LONDON, SHE APPEARS IN GRAND OPERA.
FOR HER FIRST NIGHT CARSTAIRS, LITTLE KNOWING HER TRUE IDENTITY, HAS
TAKEN THE STAGE-BOX. SHE RECOGNISES HIM, AND, INSTEAD OF SINGING HER
OPENING SONG, ELECTRIFIES THE HOUSE BY GIVING "PANSY FACES."]

[Illustration: IN THE SENSATION THAT ENSUES THE THEATRE CATCHES FIRE.
ROSIE RESCUES REGINALD, BUT HIS WIFE PERISHES IN THE FLAMES.]

[Illustration: IN THE EVENING OF LIFE: "PANSY