arther than the first line. Anybody
who finds pleasure in poetic pains may add the other thirteen; to me such a
task would savour of bad luck. Here, however, are some of my brave
Rydalesque beginnings, with titles:--

_To the ASSISTANT CONTROLLER of FOOD, wishing him success._

JONES, who wouldst keep potatoes for the poor--

_To the Ex-PREMIER, now in very active retirement._

ASQUITH, till recently our honoured head--

_To a prominent K.C. who has become First Lord of the Admiralty._

CARSON, who latterly hast taken salt--

_To an Ex-Minister for Foreign Affairs, on a bed of sickness._

GREY, who wouldst Represent Proportionally--

_To a Second-in-Command._

BONAR, who speakest for the absent GEORGE--

_To the PRIME MINISTER, on a notable innovation._

GEORGE, who receivest Yankee journalists--

_To the KAISER._

WILHELM, who dost thy damnedst every day--

_To the CROWN PRINCE._

Namesake of mine, but O how different!

_To an Ex-Colonel._

WINSTON, whose fighting days, alas! seem o'er--

_To an assiduous Watcher of the literary skies._

SHORTER, who tellest readers what to think--

I then essayed two lines:--

_To an Incorrigible Wag._

SHAW, who, in khaki, with that gingery beard,
Joyous and independent scann'dst the Front--

With this effort I fell asleep.

* * * * *

DAWN OF HUMOUR IN SCOTLAND.

"Summer time begins at 2 a.m. on Sunday morning. Clocks should be put
back an hour on Saturday night."--_Ross-shire Journal._

* * * * *

THE SECRET OF LONGEVITY.

"The death occurred on Friday of Mr. ----, at the age of 94. Deceased
had liver through the reigns of George IV., William IV., Victoria,
Edward VII."--_Provincial Paper._

* * * * *

From a picture-dealer's advertisement:--

"Corot got originally 500 francs for his painting of 'The Angelus,'
which ultimately brought 800,000 francs."--_The British Magazine_
(_Buenos Aires_).

Poor MILLET, it appears, got nothing.

* * * * *

WEIGHED IN THE BALANCE.

PART I.

Angelo Armstrong was a man of thirty. He had no capital, but by dint of
honest and meritorious toil he found himself eventually earning a moderate
salary as clerk in a London Insurance Office. He had been rejected for the
Army on account of a defective knee-cap. Outside his work his tastes lay