self-deception!"

Such moments as these are the most terrible in the experience of a
servant of the Lord. They afford a glimpse of the depths of guilt and
misery to which the noblest human soul would sink without sustaining
grace; they show that, like the brightest planet, such soul shines not
with light of its own, but with an imparted radiance, deprived of which
it would be enveloped in utter darkness. An Abraham, left to himself,
could lie; a David stain his soul with innocent blood. All need the
Sacrifice of Atonement, all require the grace which comes from above.

But Judas Maccabeus was not left unaided to be carried away to an abyss
of crime by his own wild passions. They were as a steed accustomed to
obey the rein of conscience, that, smitten with agonizing pain, has
taken the bit into its teeth, and rushed madly towards a precipice.
But the hand of its rider still grasps the bridle, his eye sees the
danger in front, and the frantic animal beneath him has but for a brief
space burst from his master's powerful constraint. If the rider cannot
otherwise stop his wild steed, he will strike it down with a heavy
blow, that by a lesser fall the greater may be avoided; and so he leads
it back to its starting-place, quivering, trembling in every limb, the
sweat on its flanks, the foam on its bit, but subdued, submissive,
under command. Even so with the Hebrew chief, conscience regained its
habitual sway over the passions; as soon as the anguish of his soul
found vent in prayer, the crisis of danger was past. Maccabeus rose
from the earth, pale as one who has received a death-wound, but
submissive and calm.

"Shall one who has been so favoured, beyond his hopes, far beyond his
deserts, dare to repine at the decree of Him who orders all things in
wisdom and goodness?" Thus reflected the chief. "Who am I, that I
should claim exemption from disappointment and loss? Shame on the
leader who gives way to selfish passion, and at such a time as this!
We shall shortly close in battle; and if in that battle I fall" (the
thought brought strange consolation), "how shall I look back from the
world of spirits on that which for a time could almost shake the trust
of this unworthy heart in the God of my fathers? If I survive the
perils of the day, better it is that there should be no selfish hopes,
no selfish cares, to prevent me from concentrating all my energies and
thoughts upon the work appointed me to do. I have been w