The Project Gutenberg EBook of Bib Ballads, by Ring W. Lardner
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Title: Bib Ballads
Author: Ring W. Lardner
Illustrator: Fontaine Fox
Release Date: July 3, 2008 [EBook #25961]
Language: English
Character set encoding: ASCII
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BIB BALLADS
[Illustration]
Copyright 1915
P. F. Volland & Co.
Chicago, U. S. A.
(All Rights Reserved)
BIB BALLADS
BY
RING W. LARDNER
ILLUSTRATED BY
FONTAINE FOX
[Illustration]
Published by
P. F. VOLLAND & CO.
NEW YORK CHICAGO TORONTO
FOREWORD
Dear Parents:--Don't imagine, please,
It's in a boastful spirit
I fashion verses such as these;
That's not the truth or near it.
A hundred or a thousand, yes,
A million kids there may be
Who aren't one iota less
Attractive than this baby.
I'll venture that your household has
As valuable a treasure
As mine, but mine I know, and as
For yours, I've not that pleasure.
And that is why my book's about
Just one, O Dads and Mothers;
But babes are babes, and mine, no doubt,
Is very much like others.
THE AUTHOR
[Illustration]
BIB BALLADS
[Illustration]
GOOD-BY BILL
Dollar Bill, that I've held so tight
Ever since payday, a week ago,
Shall I purchase with you tonight
A pair of seats at the vaudeville show?
(Hark! A voice from the easy chair:
"Look at his shoes! We must buy a pair.")
Dollar Bill, from the wreckage saved,
Tell me, how shall I squander you?
Shall I be shined, shampooed and shaved,
Singed and trimmed 'round the edges, too?
(Hark! A voice from the easy chair:
"He hasn't a romper that's fit to wear.")
Dollar Bill, that I cherished so,
Think of the cigarettes you'd buy,
Turkish ones, with a kick, you know;
Makin's eventually tire a guy.
(Hark! A voice from the easy chair:
"Look at those stockin
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