nce I didn't expect you for an hour. You're only ten
minutes late."

I ignored this. "Professor, I want to use your--uh--your
subjunctivisor."

"Eh? Oh, yes. You're lucky, then. I was just about to dismantle it."

"Dismantle it! Why?"

"It has served its purpose. It has given birth to an idea far more
important than itself. I shall need the space it occupies."

"But what _is_ the idea, if it's not too presumptuous of me to ask?"

"It is not too presumptuous. You and the world which awaits it so
eagerly may both know, but you hear it from the lips of the author. It
is nothing less than the autobiography of van Manderpootz!" He paused
impressively.

I gaped. "Your autobiography?"

"Yes. The world, though perhaps unaware, is crying for it. I shall
detail my life, my work. I shall reveal myself as the man responsible
for the three years' duration of the Pacific War of 2004."

"You?"

"None other. Had I not been a loyal Netherlands subject at that time,
and therefore neutral, the forces of Asia would have been crushed in
three months instead of three years. The subjunctivisor tells me so; I
would have invented a calculator to forecast the chances of every
engagement; van Manderpootz would have removed the hit or miss element
in the conduct of war." He frowned solemnly. "There is my idea. The
autobiography of van Manderpootz. What do you think of it?"

I recovered my thoughts. "It's--uh--it's colossal!" I said vehemently.
"I'll buy a copy myself. Several copies. I'll send 'em to my friends."

"I," said van Manderpootz expansively, "shall autograph your copy for
you. It will be priceless. I shall write in some fitting phrase, perhaps
something like _Magnificus sed non superbus_. 'Great but not proud!'
That well described van Manderpootz, who despite his greatness is
simple, modest, and unassuming. Don't you agree?"

"Perfectly! A very apt description of you. But--couldn't I see your
subjunctivisor before it's dismantled to make way for the greater work?"

"Ah! You wish to find out something?"

"Yes, professor. Do you remember the _Baikal_ disaster of a week or two
ago? I was to have taken that liner to Moscow. I just missed it." I
related the circumstances.

"Humph!" he grunted. "You wish to discover what would have happened had
you caught it, eh? Well, I see several possibilities. Among the world of
'if' is the one that would have been real if you had been on time, the
one that depended on the vessel waiti