s will to apply to
unbelievers, 2 Cor. vi. 14-18); but I act in the way in which I do
for the benefit of the Church at large, cheerfully bearing the
trials, and sometimes the deep trials connected with this life of
faith (which however brings along with it also its precious joys), if
by any means a part at least of my fellow believers might be led to
see the reality of dealing with God only, and that there is such a
thing as the child of God having power with God by prayer and faith.
That the Lord should use for so glorious a service one so vile, so
unfaithful, so altogether unworthy of the least notice as I am, I can
only ascribe to the riches of His condescending grace, in which He
takes up the most unlikely instruments, that the honour maybe
manifestly His. I add only one word more: Should Satan seek to
whisper into your ears: Perhaps the matter is made known after all,
when there is need (as it has been once said about me at a public
meeting in a large town, that when we were in want I prayed publicly
that the Lord would send help for the Orphans, which is entirely
false); I say, should it be said, that I took care that our wants
were made known, I reply: Whom did I ask for any thing these many
years since the work has been going on? To whom did I make known our
wants, except to those who are closely connected with the work?--Nay,
so far from wishing to make known our need, for the purpose of
influencing benevolent persons to contribute to the necessities of
the Institution under my care, I have even refused to let our
circumstances be known, after having been asked about them, when on
simply saying that we were in need, I might have had considerable
sums. Some instances of this have been given in the former part of
this Narrative. In such cases I refused, in order that the hand of
God only might be manifest; for that, and not the money, nor even the
ability of continuing to carry on the work, is my especial aim. And
such self-possession has the Lord given me, that at the times of the
deepest poverty, (whilst there was nothing at all in hand, and whilst
we had even from meal to meal to wait upon the Lord for the
necessities of more than 100 persons), when a donation of 5l. or 10l.
or more has been given to me, the donors could not have read in my
countenance whether we had much or nothing at all in hand. But enough
of this. I have made these few remarks, beloved Reader, lest by any
means you should lose the blessing