t is half an hour
old. So you see it is hopeless. Quite."

Captain Trimblett listened with ill-concealed impatience. "I was
thinking of something more important than green-flies," he said,
emphatically.

"Yes?" said Vyner, thoughtfully.

It was evident that the old sailor was impervious to hints. Rendered
unscrupulous by the other's interference, and at the same time unwilling
to hurt his feelings, Mr. Vyner bethought himself of a tale to which he
had turned an unbelieving ear only an hour or two before.

"Of course, I quite forgot," he said, apologetically. "How stupid of me!
I hope that you'll accept my warmest congratulations and be very, very
happy. I can't tell you how pleased I am. But for the life of me I can't
see why it should worry Hartley."

"Congratulations?" said the captain, eying him in surprise. "What
about?"

"Your marriage," replied Robert. "I only heard of it on my way to the
office, and your talking put it out of my head."

"_Me_?" said Captain Trimblett, going purple with suppressed emotion.
"My _marriage?_ I'm not going to be married. Not at all."

"What do you mean by 'not at all?" inquired Mr. Vyner, looking puzzled.
"It isn't a thing you can do by halves."

"I'm not going to be married at all," said the captain, raising his
voice. "I never thought of such a thing. Who--who told you?"

"A little bird," said Robert, with a simpering air.

Captain Trimblett took out a handkerchief, and after blowing his nose
violently and wiping his heated face expressed an overpowering desire to
wring the little bird's neck.

"Who was it?" he repeated.

"A little bird of the name of Sellers--Captain Sellers," replied Robert.
"I met him on my way here, hopping about in the street, simply brimming
over with the news."

"There isn't a word of truth in it," said the agitated captain. "I
never thought of such a thing. That old mischief-making mummy must be
mad--stark, starin' mad."

"Dear me!" said Robert, regretfully. "He seems such a dear old chap, and
I thought it was so nice to see a man of his age so keenly interested in
the love-affairs of a younger generation. Anybody might have thought you
were his own son from the way he talked of you."

"I'll 'son' him!" said the unhappy captain, vaguely.

"He is very deaf," said Robert, gently, "and perhaps he _may_ have
misunderstood somebody. Perhaps somebody told him you were _not_ going
to be married. Funny he shouts so, isn't it? Most deaf people s