to care for nothing but woods,
rivers, and the sea; Greek poetry, Saint Catharine, and the seven
Vestals. However, I will try what can be done.

_Mr. Gryll._ But, doctor, I think he would scarcely have provided such
a spacious dining-room, and so much domestic accommodation, if he had
intended to shut himself up from society altogether. I expect that
some day when you go there you will find a large party. Try if he will
co-operate in the Aristophanic comedy.

_The Rev. Dr. Opimian._ A good idea. That may be something to his mind.

_Miss Gryll._ Talking of comedy, doctor, what has become of Lord
Curryfin, and his lecture on fish.

_The Rev. Dr. Opimian._ Why, Lord Michin Malicho,{1} Lord
Facing-both-ways, and two or three other arch-quacks, have taken
to merry-andrewising in a new arena, which they call the Science of
Pantopragmatics, and they have bitten Lord Curryfin into tumbling with
them; but the mania will subside when the weather grows cool; and no
doubt we shall still have him at Thornback Bay, teaching the fishermen
how to know a herring from a halibut.

1 'Marry, this is _miching mallecho_: it means mischief.'
--Hamlet.

_Miss Gryll._ But pray, doctor, what is this new science?

_The Rev. Dr. Opimian._ Why that, Miss Gryll, I cannot well make out.
I have asked several professors of the science, and have got nothing in
return but some fine varieties of rigmarole, of which I can make neither
head nor tail. It seems to be a real art of talking about an imaginary
art of teaching every man his own business. Nothing practical comes of
it, and, indeed, so much the better. It will be at least harmless, as
long as it is like Hamlet's reading, 'words., words, words.' Like most
other science, it resolves itself into lecturing, lecturing, lecturing,
about all sorts of matters, relevant and irrelevant: one enormous bore
prating about jurisprudence, another about statistics, another about
education, and so forth; the _crambe repetita_ of the same rubbish,
which has already been served up 'twies hot and twies cold,'{1} at as
many other associations nicknamed scientific.

_Miss Gryll._ Then, doctor, I should think Lord Curryfin's lecture would
be a great relief to the unfortunate audience.

_The Rev. Dr. Opimian._ No doubt more amusing and equally profitable.
Not a fish more would be caught for it, and this will typify the result
of all such scientific talk. I had rather hear a practical cook lecture
on bu