nlawful
desires, that must be unlawfully gratified--and I know in part that I
have not led a perfect life like other believers. But I confess to my
Lord, and do not blush before him, because I tell the truth, that from
the time I knew him in my youth the love of God and his fear increased
within me, and until now, by the favor of the Lord, I have kept the
faith.

Let him who pleases insult and laugh at me; I will not be silent,
neither do I conceal the signs and wonders that the Lord hath shown to
me many years before they took place, as he who knew all things even
before the world began. Therefore I ought to give thanks to God
without ceasing, who often pardoned my uncalled-for folly and
negligence, who did not let his anger turn fiercely against me, who
allowed me to work with him, though I did not promptly follow what was
shown me and what the Spirit suggested; and the Lord had compassion on
me among thousands and thousands, because he saw my good-will; but then
I knew not what to do, because many were hindering my mission, and were
talking behind my back, and saying: "Why does he run into danger among
enemies who know not God?" This was not said with malice, but because
they did not approve of it, but, as I now testify, because of my
rusticity, you understand; and I did not at once recognize the grace
which was then in me, but now _I know I should have known before_.

Therefore I have simply related to my brethren and fellow-servants who
have believed me why I have preached and still preach to strengthen and
confirm your faith. Would that you also might aim at higher things and
succeed better. This shall be my glory, because a wise son is the
glory of his father. You know and God knows how I have lived among you
from my youth up, both faithful in truth and sincere in heart; also, I
have given the faith to the people among whom I dwell, and I will
continue to do so. God knows I have not overreached any of them, nor
do I think of it, because of God and his Church, lest I should excite
persecution for them and all of us, and lest the name of the Lord
should be blasphemed through me; for it is written, "Woe to the man
through whom the name of the Lord is blasphemed." For though I am
unskilled in names, I have endeavored to be careful even with my
Christian brethren, and the virgins of Christ, and devout women, who
freely gave me gifts, and cast of their ornaments upon the altar; but I
returned them, though the