confidently _assert_, that all the _desireable Ends_ are
_obtained in these Sheets_; and if any one should dispute
it, I will convince him by two incontestable Proofs. First,
that I know from MY OWN Passions, that I never perused these
engaging Scenes without being uncommonly _moved_: And, for
that Reason, I insist upon it, that every Man who reads them
must be the same: And next, that I, as an _Editor_, judge
with more Impartiality than an _Author_ can do."

What Vanity is this! Did it ever appear more conspicuous in the Writings
of any one? The worthy Gentleman who is appointed to preside over the
_British_ Muses, hath been frequently accused of being a perfect Master
in this Art; nay, so far indeed does it extenuate the Crime, that he
acknowledges the Foible. He has long been allowed to reign sole Monarch
of the Realms of _Effrontery_ and _Vanity_; but in you, Sir, let him
dread a formidable _Rival_.

The positively pronouncing a Thing quite perfect, and the only good one
of its Kind upon your meer _ipse Dixi_, is something so novel, and
tacitly calling all Fools who shall dare to swerve from that Opinion,
gives it such an Air of Consequence and assur'd Success, as may prevail
on many, who search no farther than the Surface to believe it to _be_
what it is _represented_; but to Persons who may be as _sensible_, tho'
perhaps not so bigotted to an Opinion, as the Editor, it must only
afford Matter for Laughter and Ridicule.

If it is not ludicrous, (tho' what can be too light a Counterpoise for
such frothy Affectation!) I once met with a Story from an honest Country
Man, which seems very applicable to the Case in Question. A Doctor, says
the Farmer, once did us the Honour of a Visit at our Village, he
appeared in all the Ornament of Dress necessary to excite Curiosity in
simple unmeaning Clowns, he began his Harangue, by inveighing bitterly
against the Errors and Tricks of his Brother Practitioners, their Advice
was deficient, their Drugs unwholsome, and instead of healing, they did
but taint the Body; he only prescribed what was proper, and his Arcanum
was the grand Restorative of Health then _first published_, with a
salutary Design of confirming the whole Country's Health to the utter
Ruin of all Physicians, Apothecaries, _&c._ Name what Disease you would,
his little Pill was an immediate and sovereign Remedy. During the
Doctor's Oration there appear'd behind him a surly Sort o