ondition of the
Balances now gives her, is the real cause of the War.

Cession of Gibraltar: there had been vague promises, years ago, on the
Kaiser's part; nay George himself, raw to England at that date, is said
to have thought the thing might perhaps be done.--"Do it at once, then!"
said the Termagant Queen, and repeated, with ever more emphasis;--and
there being not the least compliance, she has opened parallels before
the place, and begun war and ardent firing there; [22d February, 1727
(Scholl, ii. 212). Salmon, _Chronological Historian_ (London, 1747; a
very incorrect dark Book, useful only in defect of better), ii. 173.
Coxe, _Memoirs of Walpole,_ i. 260, 261; ii. 498-515.] preceded by
protocols, debates in Parliament; and the usual phenomena. It is the
Fifth grand Crisis in the Kaiser's spectre-huntings; fifth change in
the color of the world-lobster getting boiled in that singular
manner;--Second Sputter of actual War.

Which proved futile altogether; and amounts now, in the human memory;
to flat zero,--unless the following infinitesimally small fraction be
countable again:--

"Sputtering of War; that is to say, Siege of Gibraltar. A siege utterly
unmemorable, and without the least interest, for existing mankind with
their ungrateful humor,--if it be not; once more, that the Father of
TRISTRAM SHANDY was in it: still a Lieutenant of foot, poor fellow;
brisk, small, hot-tempered, loving, 'liable to be cheated ten times a
day if nine will not suffice you.' He was in this Siege; shipped to the
Rock to make stand there; and would have done so with the boldest,--only
he got into duel (hot-tempered, though of lamb-like innocence), and was
run through the body; not entirely killed, but within a hair's breadth
of it; and unable for service while this sputtering went on. Little
Lorry is still living; gone to school in Yorkshire, after pranks
enough, and misventures,--half-drowning 'in the mill-race at Annamoe in
Ireland,' for one. [Laurence Sterne's _Autobiography_ (cited above).]
The poor Lieutenant Father died, soldiering in the West Indies; soon
after this; and we shall not mention him again. But History ought to
remember that he is 'Uncle Toby,' this poor Lieutenant, and take her
measures!--The Siege of Gibraltar, we still see with our eyes, was in
itself Nothing."

Truly it might well enough have grown to universal flame of War. But
this always needs two parties; and pacific George would not be second
party i