eates, into which vortex the good ship Friendship is often drawn
and dismembered. I'd assault a bear that was annoying you,' says
Paisley, 'or I'd endorse your note, or rub the place between your
shoulder-blades with opodeldoc the same as ever; but there my sense of
etiquette ceases. In this fracas with Mrs. Jessup we play it alone.
I've notified you fair.'

"And then I collaborates with myself, and offers the following
resolutions and by-laws:

"'Friendship between man and man,' says I, 'is an ancient historical
virtue enacted in the days when men had to protect each other against
lizards with eighty-foot tails and flying turtles. And they've kept up
the habit to this day, and stand by each other till the bellboy comes
up and tells them the animals are not really there. I've often heard,'
I says, 'about ladies stepping in and breaking up a friendship between
men. Why should that be? I'll tell you, Paisley, the first sight and
hot biscuit of Mrs. Jessup appears to have inserted a oscillation into
each of our bosoms. Let the best man of us have her. I'll play you a
square game, and won't do any underhanded work. I'll do all of my
courting of her in your presence, so you will have an equal
opportunity. With that arrangement I don't see why our steamboat of
friendship should fall overboard in the medicinal whirlpools you speak
of, whichever of us wins out.'

"'Good old hoss!' says Paisley, shaking my hand. 'And I'll do the
same,' says he. 'We'll court the lady synonymously, and without any of
the prudery and bloodshed usual to such occasions. And we'll be
friends still, win or lose.'

"At one side of Mrs. Jessup's eating-house was a bench under some
trees where she used to sit in the breeze after the south-bound had
been fed and gone. And there me and Paisley used to congregate after
supper and make partial payments on our respects to the lady of our
choice. And we was so honorable and circuitous in our calls that if
one of us got there first we waited for the other before beginning any
gallivantery.

"The first evening that Mrs. Jessup knew about our arrangement I got
to the bench before Paisley did. Supper was just over, and Mrs. Jessup
was out there with a fresh pink dress on, and almost cool enough to
handle.

"I sat down by her and made a few specifications about the moral
surface of nature as set forth by the landscape and the contiguous
perspective. That evening was surely a case in point. The moon was
atte