e.

And it came to pass that man-servants set before us brewage; and
Lucullus Polk spake unto me, relating the wherefores of his
beleaguering the antechambers of the princes of the earth.

"Did you ever hear of the S.A. & A.P. Railroad in Texas? Well, that
don't stand for Samaritan Actor's Aid Philanthropy. I was down that
way managing a summer bunch of the gum and syntax-chewers that play
the Idlewild Parks in the Western hamlets. Of course, we went to
pieces when the soubrette ran away with a prominent barber of
Beeville. I don't know what became of the rest of the company. I
believe there were some salaries due; and the last I saw of the troupe
was when I told them that forty-three cents was all the treasury
contained. I say I never saw any of them after that; but I heard them
for about twenty minutes. I didn't have time to look back. But after
dark I came out of the woods and struck the S.A. & A.P. agent for
means of transportation. He at once extended to me the courtesies of
the entire railroad, kindly warning me, however, not to get aboard any
of the rolling stock.

"About ten the next morning I steps off the ties into a village that
calls itself Atascosa City. I bought a thirty-cent breakfast and a
ten-cent cigar, and stood on the Main Street jingling the three
pennies in my pocket--dead broke. A man in Texas with only three cents
in his pocket is no better off than a man that has no money and owes
two cents.

"One of luck's favourite tricks is to soak a man for his last dollar
so quick that he don't have time to look it. There I was in a swell
St. Louis tailor-made, blue-and-green plaid suit, and an eighteen-
carat sulphate-of-copper scarf-pin, with no hope in sight except the
two great Texas industries, the cotton fields and grading new
railroads. I never picked cotton, and I never cottoned to a pick, so
the outlook had ultramarine edges.

"All of a sudden, while I was standing on the edge of the wooden
sidewalk, down out of the sky falls two fine gold watches in the
middle of the street. One hits a chunk of mud and sticks. The other
falls hard and flies open, making a fine drizzle of little springs and
screws and wheels. I looks up for a balloon or an airship; but not
seeing any, I steps off the sidewalk to investigate.

"But I hear a couple of yells and see two men running up the street in
leather overalls and high-heeled boots and cartwheel hats. One man is
six or eight feet high, with open-plumbed j