ur soul. This has
been tried. This is certain."

"In active love? There's another question--and such a question! You see, I
so love humanity that--would you believe it?--I often dream of forsaking all
that I have, leaving Lise, and becoming a sister of mercy. I close my eyes
and think and dream, and at that moment I feel full of strength to
overcome all obstacles. No wounds, no festering sores could at that moment
frighten me. I would bind them up and wash them with my own hands. I would
nurse the afflicted. I would be ready to kiss such wounds."

"It is much, and well that your mind is full of such dreams and not
others. Sometime, unawares, you may do a good deed in reality."

"Yes. But could I endure such a life for long?" the lady went on
fervently, almost frantically. "That's the chief question--that's my most
agonizing question. I shut my eyes and ask myself, 'Would you persevere
long on that path? And if the patient whose wounds you are washing did not
meet you with gratitude, but worried you with his whims, without valuing
or remarking your charitable services, began abusing you and rudely
commanding you, and complaining to the superior authorities of you (which
often happens when people are in great suffering)--what then? Would you
persevere in your love, or not?' And do you know, I came with horror to
the conclusion that, if anything could dissipate my love to humanity, it
would be ingratitude. In short, I am a hired servant, I expect my payment
at once--that is, praise, and the repayment of love with love. Otherwise I
am incapable of loving any one."

She was in a very paroxysm of self-castigation, and, concluding, she
looked with defiant resolution at the elder.

"It's just the same story as a doctor once told me," observed the elder.
"He was a man getting on in years, and undoubtedly clever. He spoke as
frankly as you, though in jest, in bitter jest. 'I love humanity,' he
said, 'but I wonder at myself. The more I love humanity in general, the
less I love man in particular. In my dreams,' he said, 'I have often come
to making enthusiastic schemes for the service of humanity, and perhaps I
might actually have faced crucifixion if it had been suddenly necessary;
and yet I am incapable of living in the same room with any one for two
days together, as I know by experience. As soon as any one is near me, his
personality disturbs my self-complacency and restricts my freedom. In
twenty-four hours I begin to hate