ho
attended the proceedings.

Illustration: THE CIRCUS OF EUROPE.

TURKEY (_to Europa, ring-mistress_). "INFIRM OF PURPOSE! GIVE ME BACK
THE WHIP."

* * * * *

Illustration: _Sympathetic Friend (to gloomy batsman, disgusted at
being given out for a catch at the wicket)._ "WOT'S WRONG, BILL? WAS IT
DAHTFUL?"

_Batsman._ "DAHTFUL! I SHOULD THINK IT WAS DAHTFUL! I COULD 'ARDLY 'EAR
IT MYSELF."

* * * * *

THE TATTIE-BOGLE.[A]

A farmer once, to scare the birds away,
O'er his poor seeds set up, to leer and ogle,
A raffish moon-face, stuffed with straw and hay,
A Tattie-Bogle;

And rook and daw and stare their pinions spread
Incontinent; for, so they judged the matter,
Some scowling foe stood there, and off they fled
With startled chatter.

A week the portent stood in sun and rain
And fluttered rags of dread. A sparrow, nathless,
Whose nestlings cried, dashed down and snatched a grain,
And got off scathless.

Emboldened, back she flew; to such good end
The others followed, craning and alarmful,
To find the monster, if perhaps no friend,
At least unharmful.

To-day the bogle wags, a thing of jest
And open scorn; the very pipits mock it;
A jenny wren, I'm told, has built her nest
In one torn pocket!

Heart of my heart, and so prove aught of awe
That darkens on your path; the buckram rogue'll
Stand, when you face him, but a ghost of straw--
A Tattie-Bogle!

[Footnote A. Scarecrow. Scots.]

* * * * *

Illustration: _Exasperated Subscriber (having found six different
numbers engaged)._ "WELL, WHAT NUMBERS HAVE YOU GOT?"

* * * * *

THE THREE-CARD TRICK.

Although the last race on the programme had yet to be run the railway
station that adjoined the course was already packed to discomfort with
the crowd of those who had left early in order to avoid each other. When
the train that had been waiting drew alongside the platform there was a
considerable bustle; but the individual whom (from his costume and
general appearance) I will call the Complete Sportsman was nimble enough
to secure a corner seat in a compartment that was immediately filled. A
couple of quiet-looking elderly men, wearing hard hats and
field-glasses, took the corners on the far side and began to discuss
the day's e