ched a group of discarded razor-blades by mistake, strewed them and
her blood over Elizabeth's best blue carpet, and gave notice the next
morning.

"_Now_, what is to be done?" said Elizabeth next day as she sat on the
floor and massaged the blue Axminster. "No housemaid, and a bedroom
carpet disguised as a third-rate murder clue."

"Either get a red carpet, or apply for your next housemaid to a Society
for Destitute Aristocrats, blue blood guaranteed," I suggested.

Elizabeth left off massaging and gazed searchingly at the murder clue.

"All because you didn't throw away those wretched razor blades," she
said. "Hughie, I hate you! Throw them away at once!"

"Unhate me first," I stipulated.

Elizabeth unhated me, ruffling my newly-made hair in the process.

It took but two strides to reach the dressing-table; it was the work of
hardly one minute to collect that ever-growing herd of assertive "has
beens," and then ... I began to wonder where I was going to throw them.

Where did one generally throw away things? Out of the window?

I turned my head away in horror. Who was I that I should shower razor
blades on that passing archdeacon?

The waste-paper basket?

My housemaid's life was too valuable.

The dust-bin?

But there again the dustman might delve; the Employers' Liability Act is
a tricky business and I am only insured against my own death--which
always seems to me silly.

"Look here," I said, "it's not so easy to throw these things away as you
appear to think. Where am I to throw them?"

Elizabeth opened her mouth to suggest places. Then she shut it again
without speaking and became thoughtful.

"Yes," she admitted at length, "it is a little difficult. One can't even
bury them in the garden in case they should damage the potatoes."

"There," I cried triumphantly--"they've floored you too!"

Elizabeth gathered together her pails and sponges and held out a hand to
be helped up.

"Not at all," she said. "All you've got to do is to put them in a
cardboard box and make them into a nice parcel, and I'll write a label."

"Now," she said, when she had finished attaching it, "let's take the
dogs for a walk, just to the end of the road. This parcel contains
things that are dangerous to the public welfare, doesn't it? Very well,
then, I shall make sure that it's taken into safe custody by the nearest
policeman."

"Look here, Elizabeth," I said firmly, "I'll have nothing to do with
your silly ass trick