w for why."

"Oh!" says Dermot, and he in the dance,
Whilst a step to'ards his foe did advance,
"By the Father of Men, say but that word again,
And I'll soon knock you back in a trance--to your dance,
For with me you'd have but small chance."

"But," says Kitty, the darlint, says she,
"If you'll only just listen to me,
It's myself that will show that he can't be your foe,
Though he fought for his cousin--that's me," says she,
"For sure Billy's related to me.

"For my own cousin-jarmin, Anne Wild,
Stood for Biddy Mulroony's first child;
And Biddy's step-son, sure he married Bess Dunn,
Who was gossip to Jenny, as mild a child
As ever at mother's breast smiled.

"And may be you don't know Jane Brown,
Who served goat's-whey in Dundrum's sweet town?
'Twas her uncle's half-brother, who married my mother,
And bought me this new yellow gown, to go down
When the marriage was held in Milltown."

"By the powers, then," says Dermot, "'tis plain,
Like the son of that rapscallion Cain,
My best friend I have kilt, though no blood is spilt,
But the devil a harm did I mane--that's plain;
And by me he'll be ne'er kilt again."

_Viscount Dillon._

UNFORTUNATE MISS BAILEY

A captain bold from Halifax who dwelt in country quarters,
Betrayed a maid who hanged herself one morning in her Garters.
His wicked conscience smited him, he lost his Stomach daily,
And took to drinking Ratafia while thinking of Miss Bailey.

One night betimes he went to bed, for he had caught a Fever;
Says he, "I am a handsome man, but I'm a gay Deceiver."
His candle just at twelve o'clock began to burn quite palely,
A Ghost stepped up to his bedside and said "Behold Miss Bailey!"

"Avaunt, Miss Bailey!" then he cries, "your Face looks white and mealy."
"Dear Captain Smith," the ghost replied, "you've used me ungenteelly;
The Crowner's 'Quest goes hard with me because I've acted frailly,
And Parson Biggs won't bury me though I am dead Miss Bailey."

"Dear Corpse!" said he, "since you and I accounts must once for all
close,
There really is a one pound note in my regimental Smallclothes;
I'll bribe the sexton for your grave." The ghost then vanished gaily
Crying "Bless you, Wicked Captain Smith, Remember poor Miss Bailey."

_Unknown._

THE LAIRD O' COCKPEN

The last two stanzas were added by Miss Ferrier.