There was a young fellow named Clyde;
Who was once at a funeral spied.
When asked who was dead,
He smilingly said,
"_I_ don't know,--I just came for the ride!"

There was a young lady of Truro,
Who wished a mahogany bureau;
But her father said, "Dod!
All the men on Cape Cod
Couldn't buy a mahogany bureau!"

There was a young man of Ostend
Who vowed he'd hold out to the end,
But when halfway over
From Calais to Dover,
He done what he didn't intend--

There was a young man of Cohoes,
Wore tar on the end of his nose;
When asked why he done it,
He said for the fun it
Afforded the men of Cohoes.

_Robert J. Burdette._

There is a young artist called Whistler,
Who in every respect is a bristler;
A tube of white lead,
Or a punch on the head,
Come equally handy to Whistler.

_Dante Gabriel Rossetti._

There is a creator named God,
Whose doings are sometimes quite odd;
He made a painter named Val,
And I say and I shall,
That he does no great credit to God.

_J. M. Whistler._

There was a young lady of station,
"I love man!" was her sole exclamation;
But when men cried, "You flatter!"
She replied, "Oh, no matter!
Isle of Man, is the true explanation."

_Lewis Carroll._

There was a young lady of Twickenham,
Whose shoes were too tight to walk quick in 'em;
She came back from her walk,
Looking white as a chalk,
And took 'em both off and was sick in 'em.

_Oliver Herford._

"It's a very warm day," observed Billy.
"I hope that you won't think it silly
If I say that this heat
Makes me think 'twould be sweet
If one were a coolie in Chile!"

_Tudor Jenks._

There was a young man from Cornell,
Who said, "I'm aware of a smell,
But whether it's drains
Or human remains,
I'm really unable to tell."

There was a young lady from Joppa,
Whose friends all decided to drop her;
She went with a friend
On a trip to Ostend,--
And the rest of the story's improper.

There once was a sculptor named Phidias,
Whose statues by some were thought hideous;
He made Aphrodite
Without any nighty,
Which shocked all the ultra-fastidious.

John woke on Jan. first and felt queer;
Said, "Crackers I'll swear off this year!
For the lobster and wine
And the rabbit were fine,--
And it certainly wasn't the b