I've had to ask you twice!"

"It seems a shame," the Walrus said,
"To play them such a trick.
After we've brought them out so far
And made them trot so quick!"
The Carpenter said nothing but,
"The butter's spread too thick!"

"I weep for you," the Walrus said,
"I deeply sympathize."
With sobs and tears he sorted out
Those of the largest size,
Holding his pocket-handkerchief
Before his streaming eyes.

"O Oysters," said the Carpenter,
"You've had a pleasant run!
Shall we be trotting home again?"
But answer came there none--
And this was scarcely odd, because
They'd eaten every one.

_Lewis Carroll._

NIRVANA

I am
A Clam!
Come learn of me
Unclouded peace and calm content,
Serene, supreme tranquillity,
Where thoughtless dreams and dreamless thoughts are blent.

When the salt tide is rising to the flood,
In billows blue my placid pulp I lave;
And when it ebbs I slumber in the mud,
Content alike with ooze or crystal wave.

I do not shudder when in chowder stewed,
Nor when the Coney Islander engulfs me raw.
When in the church soup's dreary solitude
Alone I wander, do I shudder? Naw!

If jarring tempests beat upon my bed,
Or summer peace there be,
I do not care: as I have said,
All's one to me;
A Clam
I am.

_Unknown._

THE CATFISH

The saddest fish that swims the briny ocean,
The Catfish I bewail.
I cannot even think without emotion
Of his distressful tail.
When with my pencil once I tried to draw one,
(I dare not show it here)
Mayhap it is because I never saw one,
The picture looked so queer.
I vision him half feline and half fishy,
A paradox in twins,
Unmixable as vitriol and vichy--
A thing of fur and fins.
A feline Tantalus, forever chasing
His fishy self to rend;
His finny self forever self-effacing
In circles without end.
This tale may have a Moral running through it
As AEsop had in his;
If so, dear reader, you are welcome to it,
If you know what it is!

_Oliver Herford._

WAR RELIEF

"Can you spare a Threepenny bit,
Dear Miss Turkey," said Sir Mouse,
"For Job's Turkey's benefit?
I've engaged the Opera House!"

"Alas! I've naught to spare!"
Said Miss Turkey, "save advice,
I am getting up a Fair,
To relieve the Poor Church Mice."

_Oliver Herford._

THE OW