hord?" Sounds like a bell-rope!

Then another lady who wore "the black and lavender dress of the
Sisters of the People," followed with a paper, "perhaps overfull
of details." And here let me say that I am quoting from "a woman
correspondent" who seems to be full of admiration for her talking
sisters. But in spite of this admiration, she knows their little
faults. For instance, she describes a speech as "vigorous, racy, and
perhaps a trifle sensational." Then, when someone else delivered an
"address to educated mothers," she says that it excited deep interest,
and "almost too many educated mothers threw themselves into the
discussion that followed."

Then she observes, "It was disappointing that Lady ABERDEEN was at the
last moment forbidden by her Doctor to undertake the long journey from
Scotland." So it was, most disappointing; and "at the last moment,"
too!

Then she announces that "Some ladies expressed a feeling, that
introducing young men and women in business to each other, when
assembled in their hundreds at Prince's Hall, was an office fraught
with considerable responsibility." To be sure! Great responsibility!
Might even be improper! Everyone should be _so_ careful!

However, there was one good thing in this Woman's Conference that
everyone will praise. The delightful, genial, charitable females seem
to have kept to themselves. No men were present. What a blessing--_for
the men_! Yours gratefully,

AN OLD BACHELOR.

_The Growleries, Lostbuttonbury, Singleton_.

* * * * *

CHRISTMAS IS COMING!

[Illustration]

When the ruddy autumn leaves
Flutter down on golden sheaves,
And on plum-trees one perceives
No more plums--
All the swallows have not fled,
Hardly is the summer dead--
Then, alas, it must be said
Christmas comes!

Christmas! Hang it all! But how
Can that be? 'Tis weeks from now.
What a fearful thought, I vow
That it numbs!
"Order Christmas papers" fills
Bookshops, bookstalls. With its bills,
Taxes, tips, fogs, frosts, coughs, chills,
Christmas comes!

Even Christmas-cards appear,
They are with us half the year,
I would banish them from here,
Say, to Thrums,
Or to any mournful place,
Where I'd never show my face,
For they tell one that, apace,
Christmas comes!

* * * * *

SEASONABLE CHRISTMAS MOTTO FOR WELL-KNOWN FINE-A