n charity could be so extensively exercised;
never one, more worthy of the devotion of a whole life towards it; and
that, if a man thought properly, he ought to rejoice to have been called
into existence, if he were only permitted to become an instrument in
forwarding it in any part of its progress. Against these sentiments on the
other hand I had to urge, that I had been designed for the church; that I
had already advanced as far as deacon's orders in it; that my prospects
there on account of my connections were then brilliant: that, by appearing
to desert my profession, my family would be dissatisfied, if not unhappy.
These thoughts pressed upon me, and rendered the conflict difficult. But
the sacrifice of my prospects staggered me, I own, the most. When the other
objections, which I have related, occurred to me, my enthusiasm instantly,
like a flash of lightning, consumed them: but this stuck to me, and
troubled me. I had ambition. I had a thirst after worldly interest and
honours, and I could not extinguish it at once. I was more than two hours
in solitude under this painful conflict. At length I yielded, not because I
saw any reasonable prospect of success in my new undertaking (for all
cool-headed and cool-hearted men would have pronounced against it), but in
obedience, I believe, to a higher Power. And this I can say, that both, on
the moment of this resolution, and for some time afterwards I had more
sublime and happy feelings than at any former period of my life.

Having now made up my mind on the subject, I informed Mr. Ramsay, that in a
few days I should be leaving Teston, that I might begin my labours,
according to the pledge I had given him.

CHAPTER IX.

_Continuation of the fourth class of forerunners and coadjutors up to
1787--Author resolves upon the distribution of his Book--Mr. Sheldon--Sir
Herbert Mackworth--Lord Newhaven--Lord Balgonie (now Leven)--Lord
Hawke--Bishop Porteus--Author visits African vessels in the Thames--and
various persons for further information--Visits also Members of Parliament
--Sir Richard Hill--Mr. Powys (late Lord Lilford) Mr. Wilberforce and
others--Conduct of the latter on this occasion._

On my return to London, I called upon William Dillwyn, to inform him of the
resolution I had made at Teston, and found him at his town lodgings in the
Poultry. I informed him also, that I had a letter of introduction in my
pocket from Sir Charles Middleton to Samuel Hoare, with