All that day I went about with a strange lightness in my breast,
so that I could scarce keep from laughing out. And when my father
admonished me, pretty roughly, for not having mended the fence of the
fowl walk to his liking, I minded it no more than if it had been old
Sugden the rat-catcher. Once or twice during the dinner I caught my
mother looking at me with a certain apprehension, as if she observed
somewhat unusual in my behaviour. I fancy she thought I might be
sickening for the ague, which was very rife in those parts. My mother
was a great physician, and always kept ready a store of the Jesuits'
bark--the only good thing, my father was accustomed to say, that had
ever come out of Rome.

In the afternoon I walked into Blundell to bid a sort of farewell to
little Patience Thurstan. I found her set on a stool in the porch,
threading beads, for she was but a child; and to see her jump up when
I drew nigh, and run to meet me, was a pleasant sight to carry away in
my memory through the stormy days which were to follow.

Knowing her to be faithful, from her behaviour in many a childish
confidence we had had together, I made no scruple to tell her I was
leaving Brandon; though I forbore to say whither I was bound, lest
they should torment the girl with questions afterwards. And I knew
that Patience would not tell a lie, and deny the knowledge if she
possessed it. But I half repented what I had done when the poor little
thing fell a-crying, and besought me not to go away. I had nothing
else to bestow upon her, so I was forced to give her my cousin
Rupert's guinea for a keepsake, telling her to buy a doll or a ribbon
with it next time she went into Norwich fair.

With that I came away, beginning for the first time to feel how
serious was the step I contemplated. But I had given my word, and I
could not now draw back even if I had felt inclined.

The chapter my father read to us that night, I remember well, was out
of the book of Ezekiel, in which the prophet dealt with the city of
Tyrus, and denounced the judgments of the Lord on her pride and
luxury, on her ships of fir and cedar with sails of purple embroidery,
on her mariners and men of war, on her merchandise of silver and
brass, of horses and mules, of ebony and precious stones, and of honey
and oil and wine and spices and white wool. And the words sounded in
my ear like a denunciation of the places I had chosen to go among; and
I was glad when it was all over