tone to one of
politeness, "an easy-mark. In high financial circles the term is short
for 'easy-market-investor,' meaning one who never buys stocks unless
he is sure they are of the highest class and at the lowest price."

"Well, I should hereafter prefer not to be so called," said Mr. Gubb.

Almost as soon as he had said the cruel words he regretted them, but
the next day Mr. Medderbrook's colored butler came to Mr. Gubb's
office with a telegram for which he demanded thirty-six dollars and
fifty cents.

Mr. Gubb trembled with emotion as he paid, for it meant that Syrilla
was still losing flesh and that Mr. Dorgan must surely cancel his
contract with her soon. The telegram read:--

Happy days! Still shrinking. Have lost one hundred and
forty-five pounds since last wire. Contract sure to be
canceled as soon as Dorgan gets back from hurried trip to
Siam. Weather very hot. Can feel myself shrink. Fond
thoughts to my Gubby.

The very next day the colored butler brought Mr. Gubb another
telegram.

"Fifty dollars, please, sah," he said.

"What!" cried Mr. Gubb.

"Yes, sah," said the negro. "That's the amount Mistah Meddahbrook done
say."

Mr. Gubb could hardly believe it, but he wrote his check for the fifty
dollars and then read the telegram. It ran:--

Excelsior! Have lost two hundred pounds since last wire. Now
weigh only four hundred pounds. Every one guys me when I am
ballyhooed as Fat Lady. Affection to Gubby.

Mr. Gubb was greatly pleased by this, but when, the next day, the
colored butler again appeared and asked for fifty dollars Mr. Gubb was
worried. The telegram this time read:--

Frightened. Have lost two hundred pounds since last wire,
now weigh only two hundred. If lose two hundred more will
weigh nothing. Have resumed potatoes and water. Love to
Gubby.

[Illustration: A MAN WHO LOOKED LIKE NAPOLEON BONAPARTE GONE TO SEED]

That same afternoon the negro brought Mr. Gubb another telegram, on
which he collected seven dollars and fifty cents. This telegram
contained these words:--

Am indeed frightened. Have resumed bread diet, soup, fish,
meat, and cereals, but have lost fifty pounds more. Weigh
only one hundred and fifty. Taking tonic. Hope for the best.
Tell Gubby I think of him as much as when I weighed half a
ton.

Mr. Gubb was much distressed. He had no doubt that his Syrilla would
rapidly recover a pa