shing retort.

THE MISSING MR. MASTER

That evening Mr. Gubb received a short note from Mr. Medderbrook that
was in the form of a bill or statement. It read: "Due from P. Gubb to
J. Medderbrook, $11,900. Please remit,"--so he put on his hat and
walked to Mr. Medderbrook's elegant home.

"I want you to hurry up with what you owe me," said Mr. Medderbrook,
when Mr. Gubb explained that he could pay nothing on the Utterly
Hopeless Gold-Mine stock at the moment, "because I know you are soft
on Syrilla, and from a telegram I got from her to-day it looks as if
it would be no time at all before she reduced her weight down to seven
hundred pounds and Mr. Dorgan of the side-show broke his contract with
her. And if you want to read the telegram you can do so by paying half
what it cost me, which was three dollars."

Mr. Gubb paid Mr. Medderbrook one dollar and a half, as any lover
would, and read the telegram from Syrilla. It said:--

Love is triumphing. Have given up all cereal diet. Have
given up oatmeal, rice, farina, puffed wheat, corn flakes,
hominy, shredded wheat, force, cream of wheat, grapenuts,
boiled barley, popcorn, flour paste, and rice powder. Weigh
now only nine hundred and twenty-five pounds. Soft thoughts
to dearest Gubby.

Mr. Gubb hesitated a moment and then said:--

"Far be it from me to say aught or anything, Mr. Medderbrook, but I
would wish the cost of telegrams would reduce themselves down a
little. This one is marked onto its upper corner 'PAID'--"

"Yes, the telegraph boy said that was a mistake," said Mr. Medderbrook
hastily.

"And very likely so," said Mr. Gubb, "but for a reduction of five
pounds one dollar fifty is a highish price to pay. Thirty cents a
pound is too much."

"Well," said Mr. Medderbrook, "I don't want to have any quarrel with
you, so I'll do this for you: I will make you a flat price of
twenty-five cents per pound."

"Which is a fair and reasonable price for glad tidings to a fond
heart," said Mr. Gubb, and this matter having been amicably settled,
he returned to his office.

That evening he sat on the edge of his cot bed minus his coat, vest,
and trousers, with his bare feet comfortably extended. At his back a
pillow made a back-rest, and a bundle of wall-paper served as a rather
lofty footstool. He was deeply immersed in Lesson Eleven, his
bird-like face screwed into tensity. From time to time he wiggled one
toe or another as a f