ghts play over the countless speeches and leading
articles which had formed his spiritual diet since the war began. "Or,
indeed, are they not both God or both Mammon? If what Joe says is true,
and nothing is recorded save what seems good to this Unseen Power, have
I not been listening to ghosts and shadows; and am I, indeed, myself
anything but the unsubstantial image of a public man? For it is true
that I have no knowledge of anything save what is recorded in the
papers." And perceiving that the very basis of his faith was endangered,
he threw off the bedclothes, and began to pace the room. "Are we, then,
all," he thought, "being bounded like india-rubber balls by an unseen
hand; and is there no one of us strong enough to bounce into the eye
of our bounder and overthrow him? My God, I am unhappy; for it is a
terrible thing not to know which my God is, and whether I am a public
man or an india-rubber ball." And the more he thought the more dreadful
it seemed to him, now that he perceived that all those journals,
pamphlets, and reports with which his study walls were lined might not
be the truth, but merely authorized versions of it.
"This," he said aloud, "is a nightmare from which I must awaken or lose
all my power of action and my ability to help my country in its peril."
And sudden sweat broke out on his brow, for he perceived that he had
now no means of telling even whether there was a peril, so strangely had
Joe's words affected his powers of credulity.
"But surely," he thought, steadying himself by gripping his washstand,
"there was, at least, a peril once. And yet, how do I know even that,
for I have only been told so; and the tellers themselves were only told
so by this Unseen Power; and suppose it has made a mistake or has some
private ends to serve! Oh! it is terrible, and there is no end to
it." And he shook the crockery in the spasms which followed the first
awakenings of these religious doubts. "Where, then, am I to go," he
cried, "for knowledge of the truth? For even books would seem dependent
on the good opinion of this Unseen Power, and would not reach my eyes
unless they were well spoken of by it."
And the more he thought the more it seemed to him that nothing could
help him but to look into the eyes of this Unseen Power, so that he
might see for himself whether it was the Angel of Truth or some Demon
jumping on the earth. No sooner had this conviction entered his brain
than he perceived how in c
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