er to help me--and left to myself I
hurriedly turned the key in the lock. I _must_ have some minutes to
myself if I was to bear the burden of that afternoon; and I knelt down
with as heavy a heart, almost, as I ever knew. In all my life I had
never felt so castaway and desolate. When my father and mother first
went from me, I was at least among the places where they had been;
June was with me still, and I knew not Miss Pinshon. The journey had
had its excitements and its interest. Now I was alone; for June had
decided, with tears and woeful looks, that she would not come to
Magnolia; and Preston would be soon on his way back to college. I knew
of only one comfort in the world; that wonderful, "Lo, I am with you."
Does anybody know what that means, who has not made it the single
plank bridge over an abyss?

No one found out that anything was the matter with me, except Preston.
His caresses were dangerous to my composure. I kept him off; and he ate
his dinner with a thundercloud face which foretold war with all
governesses. For me, it was hard work enough to maintain my quiet;
everything made it hard. Each new room, every arrangement of furniture,
every table appointment, though certainly not what I had seen before, yet
seemed so like home that I was constantly missing what would have made it
home indeed. It was the shell without the kernel. The soup ladle seemed
to be by mistake in the wrong hands; Preston seemed to have no business
with my father's carving knife and fork; the sense of desolation pressed
upon me everywhere.

After dinner the ladies went upstairs to choose their rooms, and Miss
Pinshon avowed that she wished to have mine within hers; it would be
proper and convenient, she said. Aunt Gary made no objection; but
there was some difficulty, because all the rooms had independent
openings into the gallery. Miss Pinshon hesitated a moment between one
of two that opened into each other, and another that was pleasanter
and larger but would give her less facility for overlooking my
affairs. For one moment I drew a breath of hope; and then my hope was
quashed. Miss Pinshon chose one of the two that opened into each
other; and my only comfort was the fact that my own room had two doors
and I was not obliged to go through Miss Pinshon's to get to it. Just
as this business was settled, Preston called me out into the gallery
and asked me to go for a walk. I questioned with myself a second
whether I should ask leave; b