awake or no?' So I sets right
up on my hind legs in bed, rubs my eyes, opens my ears and listens
agin, when whop went every shutter agin, with a dead heavy sound, like
somethin' or another thrown agin 'em, or fallin' agin 'em, and then
comes the unknown tongues in discord chorus like. Sais I, 'I know now,
it's them cussed navigators. They've besot the house, and are a givin'
lip to frighten folks. It's regular banditti.'

"So I jist hops out of bed, and feels for my trunk, and outs with
my talkin' irons, that was all ready loaded, pokes my way to the
winder--shoves the sash up and outs with the shutter, ready to let slip
among 'em. And what do you think it was?--Hundreds and hundreds of them
nasty, dirty, filthy, ugly, black devils of rooks, located in the trees
at the back eend of the house. Old Nick couldn't have slept near 'em;
caw caw, caw, all mixt up together in one jumble of a sound, like
"jawe."

"You black, evil-lookin', foul-mouthed villains,' sais I, 'I'd like
no better sport than jist to sit here, all this blessed day with these
pistols, and drop you one arter another, _I_ know.' But they was pets,
was them rooks, and of course like all pets, everlastin' nuisances to
every body else.

"Well, when a man's in a feeze, there's no more sleep that hitch; so I
dresses and sits up; but what was I to do? It was jist half past four,
and as it was a rainin' like every thing, I know'd breakfast wouldn't be
ready till eleven o'clock, for nobody wouldn't get up if they could help
it--they wouldn't be such fools; so there was jail for six hours and a
half.

"Well, I walked up and down the room, as easy as I could, not to waken
folks; but three steps and a round turn makes you kinder dizzy, so I
sits down again to chaw the cud of vexation.

"'Ain't this a handsum fix?' sais I, 'but it sarves you right, what
busniss had you here at all? you always was a fool, and always will be
to the eend of the chapter.--'What in natur are you a scoldin' for?'
sais I: 'that won't mend the matter; how's time? They must soon be a
stirrin' now, I guess.' Well, as I am a livin' sinner, it was only five
o'clock; 'oh dear,' sais I, 'time is like women and pigs the more you
want it to go, the more it won't. What on airth shall I do?--guess, I'll
strap my rasor.'

"Well, I strapped and strapped away, until it would cut a single hair
pulled strait up on eend out o' your head, without bendin' it--take it
off slick. 'Now,' sais I, 'I'll mend