yet write like a cat. Still less
important is spelling.

My master would not in his youth give attention to writing and
spelling, having more important things to learn, and he had an early
quarrel with grammar, which was never made up. Nevertheless, he has
written the best book about war yet published--that is to say, he
dictated it to me. And the French Academy elected him a member; but he
made merry at the expense of the Academicians, saying as he knew not
how to spell, much less to write, a seat in the Academy would become
him about as well as a ring would become a cat. Also, that if the
Academy elected him, it should also elect Marshal Villars, who could
neither read nor write; but that I, Babache, was better fitted for an
Academician than either.

It is certain, however, that no lady ever refused to accept a love
letter from Count Saxe because it was ill spelled and ill written--for
that part of his correspondence he attended to strictly himself. I
know that certain things concerning the ladies have been urged against
him. I know he has been described as "a glorious devil, loving beauty
only"--but all I know concerning Count Saxe and the ladies is, the
women mobbed him and sent him thousands of love letters. It may be
said that I know more than I will admit. Not so. And it may also be
said that I could have known all if I had wished. Well, so might I
have known astronomy, if I had possessed a taste for the science. But
I never liked it. I ever felt small enough anyhow without considering
those myriads of suns and worlds which make one feel considerably less
than nothing.

One thing I do know about Count Saxe and one lady, in particular; if
he had been willing to marry that ugly Duchess of Courland, Anna
Iwanowna, now Czarina of Russia, he would have been Duke of Courland
_de facto_ as well as _de jure_; he would have become "cousin" to the
Kings of France and Spain; he would have been "most Illustrious" to
the Emperor, and "most Illustrious, most Mighty," to the King of
Poland, and what is more, he would have had the right of coining
money.

But Count Saxe never put any compulsion on himself in affairs of the
heart. And I say this; that with the only two ladies concerning whose
relations with him I was familiar--for he was as secretive with me as
I could wish about such things--I never knew a man more blameless. And
these two ladies were both of them singularly beautiful and charming.
One of them was an actr