d that if it is composed,
as seems probable, of a solid _bloc_ of Sinn Feiners from the South
and another of Unionists from the North there would be a free fight at
every meeting. In that case it may become a popular body after all.

* * * * *

[Illustration: _Keeper at the Zoo (exhausted with efforts to catch
refractory ibex)._ "WELL, THEY CAN 'AVE THEIR FANCY MAPPIN TERRISSES.
A CAGE FOR ME EVERY TIME."]

* * * * *

Commercial Candour.

"Dry Old Chickens, 50s. to L4 4s. per doz."

_Local Paper._

* * * * *

Our Musical Athletes.

"Double action Gothic Harp (by Erard), suitable for a lady in
perfect condition."

_Provincial Paper._

* * * * *

For Domestic Interiors.

"For the Blood, Stomach, and Liver, there is nothing to
compare with CORK LINOS. 800 rolls to choose from"

_Provincial Paper._

Buttered rolls, we trust.

* * * * *

UNIVERSAL "TRAINING."

The Great Eastern have inaugurated a new plan for helping
food-producers. They are sending out an instructional train, manned by
experts and full of live stock--poultry and rabbits and goats--which
is to traverse their system for two months. The contents will be on
view and lectures will be given to cottagers, artisans, clerks--to all
in fact who are interested in the breeding of the lesser live-stock,
apple-growing, etc. The plan is so excellent that we feel sure it is
bound to lead to further developments in regard to the industries and
pursuits that really matter.

The rural districts, it may be safely assumed, already know something
about agriculture. But many areas are still in a state of benighted
ignorance about the results of intensive culture applied to the arts.
There are parts of the Cornish Riviera, for example, in which you may
travel for miles and miles without hearing a syncopated orchestra.
Here is the opportunity of the Great Western--to equip and despatch a
train band or band train, with a _personnel_ carefully selected from
the best negro performers (of whom there are now several thousands in
London), with the view of brightening and enlightening the existence
of those unfortunate villagers hitherto beyond the range of the
beneficent dominion of din. As an antidote to agricultural discontent
we can conceive nothing more salutary.

Again, there ar